APPARENTLY I'VE WRITTEN MORE LIFE IS STRANGE
FANFICTION. timydamonkey mentioned enjoying the brief prison visit scene in Split
, so I started wondering whether that was a concept I could explore further.Title:
At Arm's LengthFandom: Life Is StrangeRating:
Arcadia Bay has been saved, time is back to where it should be, and Max has no one to talk to about her trauma. Except maybe the asshole in prison who caused half of it.( At Arm"s LengthCollapse )
I really wasn't expecting to write Life Is Strange
fanfiction, and then somehow this happened. Please be aware that it contains imprisonment, sexual threat and general creepiness
SplitFandom: Life Is StrangeRating:
Max feels like she's living three different lives simultaneously. Maybe she really did break time.( SplitCollapse )
I finished Life Is Strange
The 'finding bottles to shoot' sequence was a bit frustrating, but I was very entertained (whilst also being horrified) afterwards, when I screwed up my aiming instructions so badly that I accidentally made Chloe shoot herself. Sorry, Chloe! Sorry for the trauma, Max.( Spoilery thoughts on the entirety of Life Is Strange.Collapse )
So that was Life Is Strange
! It's been an interesting experience. It has its flaws as a piece of interactive fiction, and there are moments when it almost feels a bit too
dark and bleak, and there's the uncomfortable sense that the characters might say 'lollerskates' at any moment, but overall I've enjoyed it a lot.
I think Max herself was my favourite character. Her internal observations were good fun, and her relationship with Chloe was fascinating, and I liked her conflict over whether she's nice out of the goodness of her heart or just because she wants people to like her. It was pleasant to inhabit her for a while. Even if she did once say 'wowser' three times within the space of ten minutes.
Videogame morality is an odd thing. In Red Dead Redemption
, you can shoot innocent passers-by whenever you feel like it and then cleanse your soul by protecting a ranch from criminals. By performing a minor good deed, you've paid for your murder and you're morally pure again. It's very strange.
It can sometimes be hard to shake off the 'good things undo bad things, right?' brand of videogame morality when you're playing games with actual moral consequences. In the first Bioshock
game, you occasionally encounter children who have been genetically altered and brainwashed. You can either cure them of their brainwashing or harvest some sort of power-enhancing substance from them, killing the child in the process. When th_esaurus
played, she sometimes rescued and sometimes harvested. She ended up getting the bad ending, which castigated her for her cruelty.
"I barely harvested any of them!" she exclaimed at the screen.
"It's not okay if you only kill some
of the children," I said.
And yet I recognised where her reasoning came from; in many videogames, we're trained to think that we can deliberately do something bad and then avoid any consequences by doing something good, even if the bad thing is deeply, deeply awful.
I'm not saying that this is an impression we carry into real life; I'm fairly certain most people who play videogames can tell the difference between real-world morality and videogame morality. But it's a curious difference between real life and many videogames with morality systems. I suppose it's difficult to construct a system more complex than 'good things get you goodness points, bad things get you badness points and they cancel each other out.Undertale
takes a really interesting approach to moral choice. Unlike Bioshock
, where 'more power' is the temptation for immoral actions, Undertale
tempts you with something much more valuable: more story, more game. But it deliberately makes the 'murder everything' route as unenjoyable to play as possible. You have to really make an effort
to do awful things. You have to consciously want to go down the evil route. You have to be determined. The game judges you intensely for it, and that judgement feels earned; there was no reason you couldn't have done a nice
I've been thinking about this because I've been playing Virtue's Last Reward
. The point of the murder route in Undertale
is that you don't have to do it. You can beat the game quite happily without killing a single enemy. Virtue's Last Reward
is different; there are a lot of different routes, some of which you can access only by being a huge arsehole, and you have
to go down most of them in order to beat the game. Do your actions have no weight because you're ultimately required to take them if you want to reach the ending?
There's another question in Virtue's Last Reward
: do your actions have no weight because you can canonically jump to another timeline in which you weren't an arsehole? Or do they have an inescapable weight, because all timelines in the game are canonically real timelines that exist in some capacity? The moment you hit the 'betray' button, that's a thing that happened in some universe. But, in the end, it doesn't really feel like your decision, because the game acts as if that universe exists before you truly bring it into being. It punishes you based on your future actions, which it knows you'll take because the game will eventually corner you into making them.
Wow, Virtue's Last Reward
is really difficult to explain.
In any case, if you're cruel in Undertale
, it feels like your
cruelty. You could have made friends, you could have helped people, and instead you made the conscious choice to kill everyone. The game judges you, and you know you deserve it. If you're cruel in Virtue's Last Reward
, it's easy to mentally defend yourself. I betrayed an unconscious child in that game, because I reasoned that, hey, that might be the only way I could deactivate a bomb in another timeline and save everyone. The game judges you, and you go 'hey, you were the one who made me do this!'
This isn't a criticism of Virtue's Last Reward
, which I'm enjoying! I like the way it examines the concept of different timelines branching out from different choices, and I'm looking forward to seeing what it's working towards. I suppose I just felt like rambling about videogames for hundreds of words, because I always feel like rambling about videogames for hundreds of words.
The third Despair Arc episode of Danganronpa 3
waved around the prospect of a Hinata-and-Koizumi meeting and then refused to deliver. This is outrageous, frankly, and I have attempted to remedy it through the medium of fanfiction.Title:
Worth SomethingFandom: Danganronpa 3
After the Twilight Syndrome events, Hinata tried to speak to Koizumi. Maybe he managed it.( Worth SomethingCollapse )
The original purpose of THE BOOKENING was to prepare me for a potential job interview, and as I didn't actually get an interview I'm no longer reading with such urgency. Still, I enjoyed reading a load of books and posting about them here, so THE BOOKENING will continue at a slightly more sensible pace!
THE BOOKENING TITLE #6: A Darker Shade of Magic, VE Schwab.
This is an odd one to read straight after Rivers of London. They're both technically 'magical London' books, but Rivers of London feels very grounded in the real London; I read it and I know it's set in my city. I found I enjoyed A Darker Shade of Magic more when I ignored the 'London' aspect, because I kept getting distracted by the fact that I didn't even feel like I was in England, let alone London, even in the parts set in our world. There was a general lack of detail rooting us in the city, and there was some American vocabulary that really stood out, particularly as the book seemed to be set in vaguely Victorian times. Stop running around in your pants, everyone; you'll cause a scandal!
That said, I enjoyed this. Schwab is very good at intricate, interesting worldbuilding, even if the world in question doesn't really feel connected to its real-life counterpart.
As with This Savage Song, this book introduces two protagonists separately, lets you get to know them, and only then has them meet for the first time. As far as I'm concerned, this is great. I love it when two established characters meet at last and we get to find out how they interact with each other. I also really like the 'they're not in a romantic relationship; they're just friends who occasionally kiss' vibe I get from Kell and Lila, although I don't know whether that'll change in later books in the series.
(Is it just me, or is everything part of a series? I'm sort of craving a good one-off fantasy book.)
Another thing I'm fond of: characters being thrown into another world (or another time) and having to manage in a completely unfamiliar setting. Unfortunately, neither 'seeing characters get to know each other' nor 'seeing a character come to terms with a new world' are qualities that can be sustained for very long, so I suppose they'll be less prominent in the sequel.
I'm very concerned about Holland. That was a slightly awful thing that happened to him at the end, and I'm sort of shocked that Kell did it without a second thought. I hope that's not the end of Holland's story. I'm also a bit disappointed that we never actually got to see Black London, but I feel there's a good chance it'll show up in later books.
The relationship between Kell and Rhy has a lot that intrigues me! I sort of wish we'd seen more of Rhy earlier on, so we could have a better impression of their dynamic by the point at which Rhy gets into real trouble. 'I would do literally anything for your sake' relationships are great, but they work best if we get to see how they relate to each other under normal circumstances before we see one character going to extreme lengths for the other.
I generally want more of Rhy, really. He seems like a character I could really love ('fierce love for his sibling' and 'habitually flirts with everyone' are both qualities that I have a terrible weakness for), but he got so little page time!
Finally, my favourite exchange from the book:
Rhy laughed silently. "I apologize for anything I might have done. I was not myself."
"I apologize for shooting you in the leg," said Lila. "I was myself entirely."
I thought I'd finish my reread of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
before jumping into the Cursed Child
script. I got so tearful about the Weasley family.
The problem with Deathly Hallows
is that I never feel like a Harry Potter
book has really started until it reaches Hogwarts. In the case of Deathly Hallows
, this means that the book doesn't start for four hundred and fifty pages.
And now I've also read Harry Potter and the Cursed Child
! My thoughts, which spoil basically everything, are beneath the cut.( Harry Potter and the Cursed ChildCollapse )
It's so strange to be getting new stories in this universe. And Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them
is out in a few months!
The first episode of Life Is Strange is now free on PS3 and PS4! I thought I'd check it out, as timydamonkey recommended it to me a while ago. And then I bought the rest of the episodes. Whoops. It's fundamentally a 'looking at things and having awkward conversations' simulator, but it's strangely compelling.
Here's a miserable fact for you: the developers brought this game to several publishers before eventually settling on Square Enix. They chose Square Enix because all the other publishers said 'nope, can't have a female protagonist, you're going to have to change her into a boy.' Fortunately, Life Is Strange sold well and received good reviews despite being about one of those non-male things nobody cares about.
I'm currently two episodes in. I have some specific things to say about actual plot events, but I'll save those for a spoilery post once I've finished the entire game. For now, I'm going to keep things as spoiler-free as possible.
There's something about Life Is Strange that resonates oddly strongly with me. I think it's the depiction of a particular type of friendship between kids that I know from my own childhood. You're pretty quiet and insulated, and she's much cooler than you, and she can get you into trouble or be manipulative sometimes, but you endure all that because you're just so awed that this cool person is willing to spend time with you. (It's a type of relationship that sometimes appears in Jacqueline Wilson novels, actually.) I didn't realise until I suddenly thought 'hang on, I'm making a lot of groundless assumptions about Chloe's character' and then realised it was because I felt like I'd known her when I was a child. She's a very interesting character, even if in some respects she's difficult to like.
It's perhaps no surprise that this game gives me a very strong feeling of nostalgia. I really like the strange, quiet atmosphere of it, too, and Max's internal observations are often endearing.
There are, of course, a few things that don't entirely match up with my own experiences. For example, I went to school in a different country, and I've never been any good at photography, and I can't reverse time. I also don't have the speech patterns of EZboard fandom circa 2002. There's some very odd dialogue in this game. It feels very much like a game about teenagers written by adults, although of course I'm an adult, so it's possible that in fact it's an entirely accurate representation of modern teenage speech patterns and I'm the one who's out of touch.
Sorry, did I say 'in fact'? I meant 'for realsies'.
I clocked almost immediately, from his LOADS OF TEXT MESSAGES, that Warren had a huge crush on Max. This means that every conversation with him is a bit of a minefield, as I don't feel Max thinks of him that way at all. I'm constantly caught in a state of 'I want to be nice to you, because you're my friend, but I definitely don't want to give you the impression that I'm romantically interested in you.' I felt a bit bad about turning down his invitation to see a film. Sorry, Warren! I didn't want you to think of it as a date!
I find the occasional 'THIS ACTION WILL HAVE CONSEQUENCES' butterfly very stressful. I don't need consequences in my videogames! I get quite enough of those in real life! (Now, in real life, whenever something minor happens as a result of something I unthinkingly did a while ago, I think back to that moment and I see 'THIS ACTION WILL HAVE CONSEQUENCES' in the corner of it. You put a glass in the dishwasher! That glass was still in use and later your housemate will be trying to find it. This action will have consequences.)
The statistics at the end of each episode are sometimes a bit distressing. 'You didn't help Alyssa,' I was informed at the end of the second episode. I'm sorry, Alyssa! I didn't realise you needed help! 'You didn't water your plant.' I DIDN'T KNOW MY PLANT EXISTED.
Hey, I wrote something that isn't for Assassin's Creed
Nobody's reading this on AO3, and I'm weirdly sad about it even though it really shouldn't be a surprise at all. It's a crossover between a niche American sitcom and an obscure Japanese videogame. There's probably not a huge overlap between fans of those two things.Title:
Despair 101Fandom: Community/Dangan RonpaRating:
Being told to shoot each other with paintball guns ends badly enough at Greendale. Being told to actually kill
each other probably isn't going to go much better.( Despair 101Collapse )
A new Dangan Ronpa
anime has just started! (Danganronpa 3: The End of Hope's Peak Academy
, divided confusingly into two alternating series: Future Arc
(set after the second game) and Despair Arc
(set before).) It's actual new canon, rather than an adaptation! And it looks potentially extremely interesting! And it features my favourite character!
This sounds like good news but is actually terrible
.( Danganronpa 3: notes on the first episodes of both arcs.Collapse )
Something that delights me: Kuzuryuu may have his angry don't-care rebel façade, but he's one of the few students who diligently shows up for lessons. You're not fooling anyone, Kuzuryuu.
I went into a bookshop with the specific intention of buying Rivers of London and realised too late that I didn't know the name of the author. With an inward sigh of despair, I trudged into the 'Sci-Fi and Fantasy' section, prepared to comb through all the shelves alphabetically.
Thank God for the name 'Aaronovitch'.
THE BOOKENING TITLE #5: Rivers of London, Ben Aaronovitch.
'Vagina dentata,' said Nightingale. I wasn't sure that I was reassured by the thought that it was common enough for there to be a technical term for it.
Usually, when I enjoy a book, it's because I like the characters or the world or the concepts. Occasionally you'll find a book that's enjoyable because the narrative voice is just so much fun to read. Peter Grant is a great narrator, and I think the constant undercurrent of his wry humour is what really makes Rivers of London. It feels like you're sitting down with him in the pub and he's telling you a story.
There were aspects of this book that impinged slightly on my enjoyment of it. It contained a lot of horrific gore, which I wasn't entirely prepared for, although that's not really the book's fault; I think I expected it to be aimed at a younger age range than it was. It's also a bit male-gazey, although it is at least narrated by a mildly sexually frustrated young man, rather than being one of those books that feels the need to monitor everyone's breasts at all times even if the main character has no reason to be looking at breasts. And I don't like saying that books need better editing, because I'm a copy-editor and I know how thankless a task it is; people will see the one typo that slipped through, but they'll never see the thousands of mistakes you corrected. That said, this book could have done with better editing.
Ultimately, though, this was fun! I hugely enjoyed Grant's voice, and the asides about the history of London were interesting. I liked the friendship between Grant and Lesley. I wanted to care about the relationship between Grant and Nightingale, and there were a couple of moments where I thought 'is this the moment I get invested in these two??', but in the end I didn't feel they had as much of a connection as I'd hoped for. I've gained the impression that they're a popular pairing, though, so perhaps their relationship is stronger in later books. (Not sure yet whether I'm actually going to pick up the other books in the series, but we'll see.)
Also, at one point the protagonist makes out with a little brook that runs near my childhood home. There's no other book I can say that about.
THE BOOKENING TITLE #4: The Long Way to a Small Angry Planet, Becky Chambers.
Oh, wow. This was a joy from start to finish. I'm sad that the sequel isn't out yet. Hello, new favourite book?
Here's something I don't think I've mentioned here before: I'm afraid of space. It's so big and so empty and so unknown. I think stars in the night sky are beautiful, but I can't look at them for too long because I start thinking about how far away they are and I get unsettled. The Total Perspective Vortex would destroy me. So I was a bit nervous at the prospect of reading a book all about scary space.
But it wasn't a problem at all. Space is so alive and fascinating in Small Angry Planet. I loved all the information we got about society and history and the differences between assorted sapient species. The whole universe was so much fun.
The structure is interesting; it's very episodic. Rather than focusing on telling one overarching story, this book introduces a cast of characters and then goes 'and now we're going to see a series of their escapades!' It's essentially a series of interconnected short stories. It could be adapted very well to television.
And it's a great cast of characters. I'm fond of everyone. Kizzy might be my favourite (I wasn't sure at first whether she would be irritating or endearing, but she came down firmly on the latter side for me), and I love her relationship with Jenks. Oh, wait, maybe Ashby's my favourite? WHO KNOWS; EVERYONE'S GREAT. Sissix, Dr Chef, Rosemary, everyone. Even Corbin won me over towards the end.
I can't stop picturing Ohan as Randall, the chameleon guy from Monsters Inc. This is not even slightly right (Randall doesn't have fur, for one thing), but for some reason my mind refuses to let go of it.
When I was almost finished with this book, I went, 'Hey, I should see how much fanfiction is waiting for me once this is over.' The answer: literally none. Nobody has written Small Angry Planet fanfiction.
Maybe I should fix that.
Perhaps unsurprisingly, I want the entire crew of the Wayfarer to have a big Aandrisk-esque cuddlepile-stroke-orgy. Sissix said that almost all feather families have group sex at least once! I can understand why the Wayfarer crew is the exception, but I'm also sad that it's the exception. (Corbin elects not to engage in the orgy; he just sits off to the side and complains throughout.) This is probably not something I'm going to write.
I might write something about Lovelace, actually. I've made a small start, but it's tricky; the book is in past tense, and I want to try to match its style, but I haven't written in the past tense in so long. (This is perhaps why I so rarely write fanfiction for books; my instinct is always to replicate the writing style, and it's tricky!)
I'd really like to see some flashbacks to characters' early days on the Wayfarer in the sequel. But, honestly, I'll be happy so long as we get more of the ridiculous adventures of this pack of space misfits.
OKAY, I'VE JUST CHECKED THE BLURB FOR THE SEQUEL AND IT LOOKS LIKE IT IS NOT, IN FACT, ABOUT THIS PACK OF SPACE MISFITS. Noooooooo! The lack of fanfiction is now even more tragic than it was before.
Anyway, this is a thoroughly delightful book. I'm so happy to have read it.
I don't want to think about politics right now (I may never forgive my country, but at least my city's all right, I suppose), so instead I'm going to talk about THE BOOKENING, in which I desperately try to read a load of recent genre fiction on the slim chance I get a relevant job interview. There are worse tasks.
THE BOOKENING TITLE #1: This Savage Song
, VE Schwab. A world in which violence creates monsters! Crime spawns terrible creatures that will slash you up or drink your blood or eat your soul! And then one of the monsters disguises himself as a human so he can attend school. There's more going on than that, obviously, but I really enjoy how silly the plot sounds when you cut it down.
The first few chapters focus on slowly bringing you into the world, which is interesting, but it really picks up when the monster actually starts school. I hugely enjoyed watching August try to fit in; characters being thrown suddenly into a completely new world is always fun. Colin seemed a potentially fun character, so I'm sad he was barely in this at all. Leo is terrifying. I enjoyed Kate's fury at her own vulnerability, and it was interesting to see August's desire to be a better person collide with her desire to be a worse
THE BOOKENING TITLE #2: Divergent
, Veronica Roth. I find this a slightly less believable young adult dystopia than the world of The Hunger Games
, largely because I'm convinced the Dauntless faction would have died out within a few generations. Why would anyone ever willingly join the faction that demands that you constantly risk your life for no reason? Go and join the faction that picks apples and is nice to people, for goodness' sake. And the Dauntless faction is in the habit of whittling down its recruits and allowing ONLY THE BEST to join, which further reduces its numbers, and then
, as mentioned, it makes its members pointlessly risk their lives. This is not the way to maintain a healthy membership, Dauntless.Divergent
's Tris felt at points like a copy of Katniss from The Hunger Games
to me, and I find it interesting that Kate from This Savage Song
didn't, given that all three of them fall into a distinct 'unpersonable female YA protagonist' character type. I suppose Kate's vulnerabilities run closer to the surface, and she's also more actively cruel because she's trying to hide her caring side. Katniss isn't trying to hide that she cares; she's genuinely not very good at caring, although she's not incapable of it, and I get a similar impression from Tris. Deliberate callous action versus unconscious callous inaction.
This was an interesting diversion, but I don't think I'll be picking up the other books in the series. Diversiont
THE BOOKENING TITLE #3: Uncharted: The Fourth Labyrinth
, Christopher Golden. This was fun! I used to read the official tie-in novels for Doctor Who
, and they varied wildly in quality. I was a bit apprehensive about this, but it's clearly been written with a real fondness for the Uncharted
games and characters. Nate and Sully sound like themselves! There's vicarious sightseeing! There were even sections where I could see how they would translate to a puzzle sequence in one of the games. Fortunately, there were no sections that would translate to a twenty-minute shootout with four waves of enemies.
I enjoyed getting confirmation that Nate unthinkingly flirts with people out of habit.
My biggest complaint: no Elena. I can understand why Elena wasn't there, given that, you know, the book is set before Nate and Elena meet, but I still missed her. I liked Jada (it would have been nice to see some sort of reference to her in Uncharted 4
), but the absence of Elena was heavy on my heart. This was also my problem with Golden Abyss
. Stupid Nate, having a life and doing things before he met the best character in the series.A Song of Ice and Fire
is not part of THE BOOKENING (it's actually a large part of the reason I need
THE BOOKENING; I've spent most of my leisure reading time recently on this vast series, so I need to catch up on other things), but I've now finished part one of A Storm of Swords
, and Jaime and Brienne going through adversity together and slowly learning not to loathe each other is my new favourite thing. Enemies working together almost invariably delights me in fiction, particularly if it results in some sort of grudging fondness or respect. (My other major complaint about The Fourth Labyrinth
: it had a touch of this, but not nearly enough!)
Further entries on THE BOOKENING are probably to come! I've just started The Long Way to a Small, Angry Planet
by Becky Chambers, and I'm already enjoying it a lot.
Historical fact of the day: the Duke of Wellington had an enormous nude statue of Napoleon in his house
. I'm so happy to know this.
I completed Uncharted 4
a few days ago!( Notes on Uncharted 4Collapse )
I was pretty unhappy, five days after someone broke into our house by climbing through an open upstairs window at the back, to find myself playing a sequence in Uncharted 4
where Nate breaks into a house by climbing through an open upstairs window at the back. Don't break into people's houses, Nate! It's wrong!
To whoever tried to distract me from the break-in by gifting me The Raven Boys
via Amazon (all Amazon would tell me was that it was apparently from a 'Noah?', question mark included): thank you so much! Claiming a Kindle book gift from a different country is, it turns out, a bit of a production; I had to exchange the gift for an amazon.com gift certificate, then change my Kindle device country settings so I could actually order
things from amazon.com, then buy the book I was gifted in the first place. But it's possible and it's now been done! Thank you!th_esaurus
is going to be so pleased; I know she really wants me to read this.
Here is a summary of the impressions I've gained of The Raven Boys
, so I can look back and see how accurate or otherwise they prove to be when I actually read it:
- The main character is a girl named Blue.
- The male lead is a boy with a ridiculous name (Richard Gansey III?).
- Gansey is part of a group of boys who are basically the Marauders (he is Fake James Potter). Fake Sirius/Fake Remus is unsurprisingly the most popular pairing (and possibly canon?), but th_esaurus
insists that Fake Remus/Fake James is in fact better
. Fake Remus is poor and hates being pitied for it. I assume there's a Fake Peter Pettigrew somewhere.
- The plot is... er, all right, this is where I fall down. The plot is that... there are ley lines? And Fake James nearly died, but then he didn't because he was standing on a ley line. And... he wants to resurrect a dead Scottish king who is buried under the ley line... so he can ask the king why the ley line made him not die? Can that be right? That doesn't seem like it can be right.
- Also there's a prophecy that Blue's true love will die when she kisses him, but apparently that is surprisingly unimportant to the plot. It's all ley lines.
- At some point someone possibly gets possessed by an evil tree.
And those are the impressions I have of this book.
'Everything becomes ten times more homoerotic whenever Derek's on screen,' I observed while we were watching episode 2.01 of Teen Wolf
. Later in the episode, Derek spent several minutes holding Scott to his chest and hissing 'This is why we need each other
' into his ear. 'Ten times' may have been a conservative estimate.
I say 'homoerotic', but he got very
sexual with the asthmatic young lady a few episodes on, so perhaps Derek is just banging his way through the entire cast, regardless of gender. (If I write Teen Wolf
fanfiction, this will be the plot.)
SOMEONE BROKE INTO THE HOUSE WHILE I WAS IN IT. I was in the sitting room downstairs and they came in through an upstairs window. I heard someone moving around and thought Rei had come home and called up to her and there was a sudden scuffling noise and I went upstairs and SURPRISE, ALL THE BEDROOMS WERE RANSACKED. I don't think they've taken anything important - I think they were specifically looking for cash, so all I've lost is a £5 note that was in my purse - so it's a very mild break-in as break-ins go, but I'm a bit shaken. I was in the house!
It's sort of hilarious because there wasn't really anything of value upstairs, so our thief has gone to a great deal of effort for very little return. 'A jewellery box! Finally! ...containing a pair of cheap Bulbasaur earrings.' Also, one of the bedrooms here contains a lot of sex toys carefully stowed out of sight. I love the idea of the thief going, 'Okay, here's a box hidden behind shoes in the back of the wardrobe, there must be something good in here,' and then... no, just more sex toys. Sorry.
Not looking forward to a full day of work after about four hours of troubled sleep, but we'll see how it goes. Couldn't this person have broken in when I had a less important deadline?
On a lighter note, a conversation between me and Rei this morning:
'Did you just make a noise?'
'...I just farted.'
'Oh. It sounded like you were trying to attract my attention.'
'I was. I do that by farting.'
Interesting facts and/or terrible jokes would be a welcome distraction, if you have any to hand!
Here are the latest results from our terrible game of reproducing lyrics in fridge poetry:
'Everyone give it up for America's favourite fighting Frenchman' (Hamilton, 'Guns and Ships'): 'abandon it for the energetic knife man of eastish west the unfree world adores'. ('Unfree world' isn't a political comment on modern America; this song is set during the American Revolution!)
'God bless Mother Nature, she's a single woman too' (The Weather Girls, 'It's Raining Men'): 'sublime king please be gracious to grass mum she's at most one lady'.
Rei gave me the challenge 'love is kinda spooky with a spooky little boy like you', ostensibly from Dusty Springfield's 'Spooky'. I've looked it up now, and it seems this is not the actual lyric! (Love is kinda crazy, apparently.) But it's what I tried to reproduce. I ended up with 'love is discomforting with you the little fear boy'.
'Turn around, bend over, I'll show you where my shoe fits' (Hamilton, 'Cabinet Battle #1'): 'look behind moon me see the landscape my shoe needs to be in'.
I think I slightly alarmed my neighbours by accosting them as they came out of their door with 'Excuse me! Hello. Sorry, I think there's a mouse on my back. Can you see... is there...? Yes. Don't hurt it, but, er, please could you remove it?'
I was in love with that mouse, guys. It was so small and cute. It let me put it on my arm and stroke it. I wanted to keep it as a pet. Probably not a great idea to adopt a mouse that invades your house, particularly as we're likely to get cats before long, but it was what my soul cried out for.
Just as well it climbed up my arm and onto my back, I suppose. If I hadn't had to ask the bewildered neighbours for help, I might never have been able to bring myself to evict it.
I have been reading George RR Martin's A Song of Ice and Fire
series! I'm a few chapters into A Storm of Swords
. (I haven't seen the Game of Thrones
television adaptation, so I have no idea what awaits; please don't allude to future events!)
These books are frustrating because I'll get invested in a character or a storyline, and then that storyline will be abandoned for a hundred pages, and by the time it's picked up again I've completely forgotten what was going on. During A Clash of Kings
, in particular, I was far more interested in the Arya and Sansa storylines than I was in anything else, so I was sad when I had to slog through endless war and Wall-guarding to get to the next instalment of 'Arya has crossdressing adventures!' or 'the Hound tries to be nice to Sansa but is terrible at it because he doesn't know how'. But I'm enjoying the series enormously, all the same.
Below the cut are some thoughts on A Song of Ice and Fire
. Major spoilers for A Game of Thrones
; mentions of minor plot details up to the start of A Storm of Swords
.( Notes on "A Song of Ice and Fire"Collapse )
Looking up some of the above notes in my diaries, I've been reminded that I once saw the following sign on the wall of a French villa:CLOSE ALL DOORS AND SHUTTERS WHEN YOU GO OUT
you engaged your responsibility to avoid a spooky
Teen Wolf is on Netflix and I've accepted my fate.
In the first episode of this show, despite the fact that werewolves are generally considered fictional, a character deduces (correctly) that his friend is a werewolf on the following grounds:
- he was bitten by something in the woods.
- he's too good at lacrosse to not be a werewolf.
I'm up to episode six, I think. I'm feeling quite bad for Jackson. He's a bit of an arsehole, yes, but he just wanted to know why Scott was so good at sports! (Hint: he's too good to not be a werewolf.) He didn't ask for any of this scary supernatural nonsense!
Scott and Allison have some cute moments, but I'm having trouble being convinced by their relationship because of the odd, rushed way it developed in the first episode. Allison turns up at the school! Scott stares creepily at her! And then I suppose he wins her over with his amazing werewolf-enhanced lacrosse abilities? Then he abandons her at a party, leaving her to find someone else to drive her home, and she asks him 'UM, WHAT WAS THAT ABOUT' and, rather than saying 'sorry, I was suddenly taken ill' (the socially acceptable form of 'sorry, I was turning into a wolf'), he goes 'lol sorry I can't tell you, forgive me?' And she does! Immediately!
I suppose what I'm saying is that, although Scott seems fine, he made such an odd first impression on Allison that I have trouble believing she wouldn't go 'actually, maybe I shouldn't break my "no boyfriends before college" decision for this guy who stared unsettlingly at me, suddenly left me alone without transport and then responded to my "why did you do that?" with "shrug, can't tell you".'
Maybe she's just a very forgiving person. I suppose I shouldn't judge her for that.
I thought from his first appearance that I wouldn't get along with Stiles, but I actually find him weirdly endearing. Although he does make some terrible decisions. (I also get the impression he's a bit in love with Scott.)
Everyone in this show makes terrible decisions. This is in part because there's a bizarre tendency in Teen Wolf to set up incredibly tense, life-or-death situations... and then focus on how embarrassing they are. Oh, no, Derek's been shot and he's collapsed in the road! ...which is holding up all the traffic, this is totally socially unacceptable, he must be moved as soon as possible. Scott's obtained the remedy that can save Derek's life! Thank goodness; Derek will die within hours without intervention. Better get to him as quickly as possible. But... wait, what's that, Scott? You're a guest in someone's house and you've been invited to stay for dessert? Well, of course you can't refuse; that would be rude.
On Saturday I went to the British Museum with wolfy_writing
! We'd known each other for almost a decade online, so it was strange and delightful to meet in person at last and realise she wasn't actually a 100x100-pixel LJ icon.wolfy_writing
has swum with sharks and sat on an elephant and stroked a cheetah and been startled by a Komodo dragon and ridden a lion (one of these things may not, strictly speaking, be true). She is fascinating company, and also understandably unimpressed by the UK's lack of deadly animals for her to hang out with. Still, we do have the seagulls of Brighton.
My favourite exhibit in the British Museum is an enormous detached arm from an ancient Egyptian pharaoh statue, its hand in a fist (someone's posted a photo on Flickr here
). It is my favourite because you can watch all the visitors internally struggling with the urge to give it a fistbump. Some linger for a moment and then tear themselves away and move on. Some almost
give it a fistbump, leaving a little space between their fist and the stone to avoid breaking the 'no touching' rule. Some quickly give it a fistbump and then turn away and try to look innocent. At one point two guys walked past, looked at it, and then gave each other a fistbump to dispel the tension.
I'm also fond of the Tring tiles, a set of cartoonish fourteenth-century English tiles that depict the young Jesus killing his classmates in various situations and then bringing them back to life. One tile has the description 'Parents shut their children in an oven to prevent them from playing with Jesus
Important conversations whilst hanging out the washing:Rei:
I haven't washed all of my socks. Why not, you ask?Riona:
Er, because some of your socks are clean? Because two of your socks are on your feet?Rei:
Both of those things are true. Excellently deduced.Riona:
Thank you, Shersock Holmes.Riona:
REI, GO AWAY