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Monday, November 9th, 2009
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7:00 pm - Maybe Van Pelt Is A Bit Taken With Dean.
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I am very nearly caught up on The Mentalist!
At the beginning of 'Red Scare', I found myself wondering whether I had accidentally put on a Supernatural episode. I spent the rest of the episode half-expecting the Winchesters to show up and was mildly disappointed when they didn't.
(The Winchesters investigate a case! The CBI are already investigating it! Cho interrogates Sam! Dean becomes convinced that this guy with a girl's name is actually psychic and they need to take him out! (They don't actually take him out, though. That would make the concept much less delightful. (Maybe Sam takes him out to dinner.)))
Van Pelt and Rigsby were adorable enough to make up for the lack of Winchesters, though. I love them. Also, the part where Jane was leaning casually against a ledge and drinking tea and basically looked like he was having the most civilised phonesex ever with Cho was bizarrely and enormously hot.
Over the weekend, I made the following rather perplexing slipup when talking to my housemate:
Riona: Would you like some drugs? ...no, not drugs. Water.
It was late and I was sleepy, but that doesn't really make it much less confusing.
(Between that and my starting a story with 'A friend of mine was once strangling me - not for erotic reasons...' in the middle of a discussion about autoerotic asphyxiation, I think my housemate may be slightly afraid of me.)
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| Friday, November 6th, 2009
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2:32 pm - Fanfiction: Gotta Camelotch Them All (Merlin/Pokémon)
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![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) th_esaurus requested a Merlin/Pokémon ficsnippet in this entry, but it became a little long for a comment, so here it is!
(This is an expansion of a commentfic I wrote some months ago, so some of you may have seen the opening before.)
I apologise sincerely for the title.
Title: Pokémon: DragonFire Red Version (or 'Gotta Camelotch Them All')
Fandoms: Merlin/Pokémon
Rating: PG
Wordcount: 1,800ish
Summary: In which Pokémon appear in Camelot.
( Gotta Camelotch Them All )
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(39 comments | comment on this)
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| Thursday, November 5th, 2009
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12:07 pm - Wha-- What Are These Australians?
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I almost added this into my previous entry, but I felt I was editing it a little too much, so I'm saying it here instead. In The Mentalist: Revealed:
Robin Tunney: Every guest star that comes on, I say, 'Hey, when you meet Simon, tell him that your mother thinks he's a real fox.'
Owain Yeoman: We'd say to the guest stars, 'You may feel like the air conditioning is broken. It's not the air conditioning; it's just Simon's on the set, and it's the heat. You're feeling the heat. You're being baked by the Baker right now.'
I think I may possibly be a bit in love with this cast.
(There's something a bit sad about the shift in one's perception that occurs when watching a series after having seen the actors out of character, though. Patrick Jane seems more real before one sees proof that this Simon Baker fellow really exists. CLEARLY PATRICK JANE IS BAKER'S AMERICAN TWIN. Ooh, or Baker is Jane's secret identity.)
New personal canon: when Patrick Jane comes up with a particularly brilliant way of catching a criminal, he has been known to kiss his reflection in the mirror. Cho has a video of this on his mobile phone. He occasionally threatens to use it as blackmail, despite knowing that Jane doesn't really care who sees it.
Lisbon is adorable in 'Red Badge'. Adorable! I wish to give her many hugs. And it is such a lovely Jane/Lisbon episode (he strokes her haaaair)!
'Life is a game,' says Jane. I think that sounds rather Luxord-ish, don't you?
I think what we must conclude from this is that Derren Brown is the Heartless, Luxord is (obviously) the Nobody, and Patrick Jane is the original human. It's just sad that Jane doesn't have the physical resemblance Brown and Luxord have, because otherwise this theory works perfectly. (Well, and his name isn't 'Rould'.)
Red John is totally going to turn out to be Luxord.
Whilst I'm in smalltext, it's time for another edition of Confusing Things I Have Discovered In My Notebook:
they're Lisbon and the Jane
yes, Lisbon and the Jane
one is a genius
but also insane
they're with the CBI
an agent and some guy
they're Lisbon; they're Lisbon and the Jane, Jane, Jane, Jane, Jane, Jane, Jane, Jane, Jane
I... I don't know.
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(14 comments | comment on this)
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| Tuesday, November 3rd, 2009
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7:40 pm - No Assless Freaks For You.
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I cannot find any Mentalist fanvids set to 'Read My Mind' by The Killers. You disappoint me, fandom.
(I also cannot find any Jane/his entire team fanfiction! Come on, guys, don't make me cry. Although, as I have just stumbled across a Patrick Jane/Tony Stark fic, I think I may have to forgive you. I SHALL EXPECT JANE/EVERYONE AT SOME POINT, HOWEVER. (And possibly Pepper Potts/Van Pelt.))
Something that interests me: although I have written very little Mentalist fic so far, I have already noticed that I tend to gravitate towards Van Pelt's point of view. I have no idea why. I suppose it makes sense that I'm not writing from Jane's point of view, despite the fact that he is easily my favourite character, because the actual show tends to obscure his intentions from us for most of the episode and so we're always kept at a slight distance from him, but why Van Pelt specifically? There are aspects of her character - her faith, her very careful morality - that make me worry about whether I'll be able to write her well, but somehow hers is still the perspective into which I naturally fall. Odd.
I have now seen the first two episodes of the second season! And, oh, the beginning of 'Redemption' was all about the team having become Jane's family and his inability to admit it to himself. I love the amount of support The Mentalist offers for the pairing of Jane/everyone. I'm not sure how genuinely I believed it when I came up with the theory, but then every episode reinforced it and now I can't help thinking of 'Jane is deeply in love with every member of his unit' as canon. Best canon ever.
Minor spoilers for the episode; highlight to read: AND HE HUGS LISBON. ♥! Just Cho and Van Pelt to go! I mean, it's totally okay if Jane wants to hug any member of his team more than once, but he certainly has to at least give them a hug each. (And, oh, when he says 'I have nothing else to do' and literally means that the job is the only thing that has any meaning in his life, augh.)
NUMBER ONE ON THE LIST OF THINGS I AM ABSOLUTELY NOT ALLOWED TO FIND HOT: PATRICK JANE SNIFFING A DEAD BODY AHDHSHHDDFJFGH RIONA STOP REWINDING TO REWATCH IT WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
Regarding 'The Scarlett Letter': I love how rubbish Jane is at running. Possibly a weird character detail of which to become fond, but I love it. I love that, if there is any way he can possibly avoid running, he'll take it. I love that, if he is forced to run, he's so half-hearted about it that he looks like he's moving in slow motion. I love that he's out of breath in seconds.
I also love that he thinks of the couch as 'his couch' and is far too protective of it. Aww! (Jane was so cute in this episode.)
I want to see an episode in which Jane completely screws up. I know he's screwed up before, not generally in a 'reaching the wrong conclusion' sense but in an 'approaching things the wrong way and getting the suspect killed' sense, but what I want is an episode in which he screws up and as a result a member of his team is almost killed.
I am sorry that I want so many horrible angstful things to happen to you, Jane, but I can't help it. This wouldn't happen if you weren't so good at having horrible angstful things happen to you.
EDIT: I just started watching The Mentalist: Revealed, and Simon Baker said, 'Call me a sex symbol all you like, 'cause sometimes, when I wake up, I wouldn't want to sleep with me,' and I immediately wanted so much Jane/Jane fanfiction.
Oh, dear.
(ALSO THIS IS A REALLY WEIRD EXPERIENCE. A man with Patrick Jane's face is speaking with an Australian accent! Rigsby's actor is British! I do not know what to think any more. (Yeoman's accent startled me so much that I had to rewatch what he was saying a couple of times before the similarly disconcerting fact that Rigsby's actor was talking about how attractive Jane's actor is sunk in.))
EDIT AGAIN:
Owain Yeoman: I clearly have a crush on [Baker]. I've just literally just told you I love him! (giggles)
Oh, help. Who wants to take bets on how long it'll be before I'm writing RPF? I love this documentary already.
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(25 comments | comment on this)
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| Monday, November 2nd, 2009
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12:31 pm - No, You Are Wrong. You Cannot Have A Pony.
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Today, I rushed from London to Brighton for a seminar that, I discovered upon arrival, had been cancelled.
Mildly put out, I returned to my Brighton abode, where I found a large and intriguing-looking package waiting for me. The details on the back informed me that the sender was a Vayne Aurelius, who, I discovered after a quick Googling, is the protagonist of a game called Mana Khemia: Alchemists of Al-Revis.
This was perplexing.
I opened the package to find a copy of The Thackery T. Lambshead Pocket Guide to Eccentric & Discredited Diseases, the editors of which, according to the blurb, 'received their medical degrees in a dream', and a rather charming and apologetic note from Mr Aurelius, written on the back of a 'Combat Basics 1' exercise sheet ('What to do if you encounter an extraterrestial:'), in which he explained that someone had wished that he send me the book and expressed his hope that I didn't mind receiving it. Inside the book was an empty envelope, on which was written 'To my dear Wainwright, with affectionate regards, Lady Cloudesley'.
I am deeply, deeply confused, and I have absolutely no idea who is responsible, but thank you so much! (I love the level of detail that's gone into this.)
I'm not participating in National Novel Writing Month this year, but I've decided that I'm going to try to at least write something every day during the month of November, whether it's a snippet or a full fic or part of a work in progress. Yesterday, I wrote a tiny clip of Jane and Cho snogging in the interrogation room; today, I am calling upon you to help me.
Give me a prompt, and I'll write you a ficsnippet. Multiple requests are more than welcome!
Feel free to request from anything you know I know! (Requesting from things you don't know I know is acceptable, but in that case it would probably be an idea to include a request or two from something you know I know as well, so you don't end up with 'BARNEY WAS A PERSON (PROBABLY). HE WAS PLAYED BY NEIL PATRICK HARRIS (I THINK, BUT I THINK EVERYONE'S PLAYED BY NEIL PATRICK HARRIS, SO I CAN'T BE SURE). HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER IS A SITCOM, SO AMUSING THINGS PROBABLY HAPPENED. THE END.') Crossovers and the like are, of course, fine.
(I'd be delighted if you made Mentalist requests, but please bear in mind that I'm only just starting to write these characters, so I'm still trying to get to grips with them. I've seen up to the first-season finale.)
Make as many requests as you'd like (and please don't feel you have to know me well to request a snippet); as I've said, I'm going to be trying to write every day, so any prompts would be gratefully received. Thank you!
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(56 comments | comment on this)
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| Sunday, November 1st, 2009
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4:56 pm - Oh Dear, We've Got A Batch Of Immortal Spiders.
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How cute was the ending of that Merlin episode ('Beauty and the Beast, Part Two')? So cute. Let us all watch it again and bask in the cuteness. (People who do not watch Merlin are also invited to watch that clip, because it is only a minute long and really, really cute. IF THE NUMBER OF TIMES I HAVE SAID 'CUTE' IN THIS PARAGRAPH IS NOT ENOUGH TO CONVINCE YOU, I DON'T KNOW WHAT WILL BE.)
I have now finished the first season of The Mentalist! It has been a delightful journey from loving Patrick Jane for being an AU Derren Brown to loving him on his own merits, and from 'shipping Jane/Lisbon to 'shipping Jane/everyone in the entire world.
'Miss Red': oh, Jane is so adorably smitten with Con Artist Lady! I have no doubt that he broke her out afterwards. And he's great in 'Blood Brothers': 'I SHALL ESCAPE THIS CONVERSATION BY LEAPING ONTO THIS PASSING VEHICLE SEEYA.' And the rope stunt! Hee!
And then, of course, there is 'Red John's Footsteps', in which Jane stops being adorable and starts being scary. (Which I also love. Adorable Jane is, of course, adorable, but Scary Jane is fascinating.) I particularly enjoyed his sitting on the chair and listening to Bach, just as his nemesis had six months before. And the sacrifice he made at the end: wow.
You know what I want? I want fanfiction in which Red John goes after Jane's team, his surrogate family. And he leaves clues beforehand that this is what he intends to do, because Red John likes to play games. So it's all about Jane and his love for his team and his gradual realisation of exactly how much they mean to him as he tries desperately to protect them, terrified that history is going to repeat itself.
Actually, I want an episode like that. But fanfiction would also be amazing.
(The trouble with the concept is the fact that, from an objective point of view, I can see that it would probably work best if at least one member of the team were actually killed. From a subjective point of view, on the other hand, LA LA LA I CAN'T HEAR YOU NOT KILLING ANYONE.)
The combination of fandoms in this entry is making me ponder a Mentalist/Merlin crossover. I am inclined to doubt that Camelot is within the area covered by the California Bureau of Investigation, given that it is in both the wrong place and the wrong time period, but these are clearly minor details that may be handwaved for the sake of having Uther accuse Jane of being a witch and having Jane work out Merlin's secret.
Also, I want Arthur to be completely smitten with Van Pelt, rather to the displeasure of Gwen and Rigsby.
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(18 comments | comment on this)
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| Friday, October 30th, 2009
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7:33 pm - Just Typing This Is Making Me Want IX Icons.
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I don't talk much about Final Fantasy IX here, which is odd, because it's one of my favourite Final Fantasy games. One of the reasons for my lack of speaking about it is the fact that, although it is a great deal of fun (and I never quite understood how it managed that when the storyline is one of the saddest in the series, but it's probably something to do with Chocobo Hot & Cold), I'm not terribly interested in the cast. I don't dislike them, but I don't have the mad love for them that I do for the cast of VIII, or for the cast of X, or for Balthier and Fran. (Although I am rather fond of Freya. Oh, and Beatrix is wonderful!)
But, thinking about it, I've just realised that Zidane is in fact pretty awesome, and I don't give him enough credit as a protagonist. Squall and Cloud are intelligent but broody and rather self-absorbed; Tidus and Vaan are cheerful but a bit dim. Zidane manages to be optimistic and cheerful whilst still being intelligent. It is an excellent combination, and a realisation that has propelled him into competition with Squall for the title of my favourite Final Fantasy protagonist.
Also, for some reason, even though the cast isn't one of my favourites, I absolutely love the friendship tying it together. The 'You're Not Alone!' scene breaks my heart. With the possible exception of the ending of Final Fantasy X, I'm not sure any videogame scene has made so strong an impression on me. NOOOOOOO ZIDANE LISTEN TO YOUR FRIENDS. AND ALSO THE AMAZING BACKGROUND MUSIC. BUT MOSTLY YOUR FRIENDS. (I am fairly certain that, the first time I saw this scene, I gasped when he shouted at Vivi. You don't do that, Zidane!)
And Kuja is quite a fun villain, just because he is so interestingly nuts. Also, when he goes 'Hahahaha!', what I hear is the laugh of Jessie from Team Rocket, which obviously improves the game immensely.
And now for something completely different: a recent secret posted at ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/community.gif) fandomsecrets said that the secret-maker had, whilst reading Twilight, envisioned Edward Cullen as looking like Light Yagami of Death Note.
It was such a revelation for me.
Think about it: Edward Cullen is a powerful and dangerous (and hot) teenage boy. Bella is hopelessly in love with him. He could hurt her, but of course he would never do that.
That's right. Misa Amane wrote Twilight.
It all makes so much sense now!
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(27 comments | comment on this)
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| Thursday, October 29th, 2009
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4:17 pm - Looking Good, Sport. Looking Good.
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Xemnas isn't terribly popular, is he? I did think that was rather a failing of Kingdom Hearts II: the most important enemy is one of the least interesting. Luxord is well-spoken and smirky; Demyx is an adorkable coward; Xemnas just stands on a castle and goes 'BLARGH HEARTS'.
(Er, sorry, twicetheheart31 and mad_lemming_89.)
( On weird Supernatural threesomes. Spoilers for the fourth-season finale. )
More of The Mentalist! The opening of 'Red Sauce' was probably the fastest I've ever gone from 'starting episode' to 'DELIGHTED SQUEAKING'. The team celebrate birthdays together! They have cake! They give each other presents! Jane guesses what the presents are! I am overwhelmed by adorability.
And then there was Unexpected Fredric Lehne! Sadly, his character was nothing like the Yellow-Eyed Demon. MAN, ACTORS, STOP PLAYING CHARACTERS WITH DIFFERENT PERSONALITIES. YOU'RE SO INCONSIDERATE. (Perhaps Azazel was possessing someone else for the duration of this episode? But whom?)
At the end: 'Meh; you're just trying to find fault.' Just trying to find fault! When she suggests that perhaps driving a mob boss up the wall isn't a good idea! Patrick Jane, you nutcase. (Jane was generally wonderfully mad in this episode. Hypnotising and hugging and taking far too much pleasure in annoying people all over the place! Being adorable clueless about golf ('could you hand me one of those sticks?')! His eventual extracting-a-confession method made me a bit uncomfortable - it just seemed a little too cruel - but then he shamelessly ogled Rigsby and I was right back to adoring him.)
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(28 comments | comment on this)
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| Wednesday, October 28th, 2009
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8:10 pm - With Apologies To Xion Fans, And Indeed Those Who Hate The Lot Of Them.
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I'm not sure I'm really qualified to make this poll, as I haven't played 358/2 Days (and, as I do not possess a DS, I don't suppose I'll be playing it in the near future), but a discussion on burningvigor's journal reminded me of my absurd love of Luxord leaping from the few beautiful seconds of him in Kingdom Hearts II, and so!
('A significant interest' is rather vague wording, isn't it? And possibly inaccurate, as I'm just selecting the ones in which I take any interest at all. I can remember very little about Larxene, after all, as it's been a while since I played Chain of Memories, but I have a vague sense that I thought she was sort of awesome when I was playing it, and apparently that's good enough for me. So I suppose I'm just rubbish at making polls.)
Poll #1477662 Do I have enough Kingdom Hearts fans on my flist for this poll? Let's find out.
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 23Which of the Kingdom Hearts games featuring Organization XIII have you played? In which Organization XIII members do you take a significant interest? Which Organization XIII member would you say is your favourite? Which characters from your other fandoms do you suspect of being Nobodies? It's all right; we won't tell. (You may answer in mini-fic form if you wish.)
Apparently there is a fourteenth member in 358/2 Days or something? I am afraid she is not included here, in part because I am not familiar with her but mostly because the idea of a fourteenth member of an organisation named Organization XIII is just too silly for words. Where is your sense of numerical elegance, Square?
I really didn't understand the fandom obsession with Organization XIII for a long time; I was just thinking, 'yes, all right, Axel's sort of cool and Demyx is sort of adorable, but most of these characters barely appear. Why the mad profusions of love?'
And then I replayed Kingdom Hearts II and, lo and behold, found myself a little bit smitten with Luxord. HE HAS PERHAPS A DOZEN LINES, BUT THEY ARE A BEAUTIFUL DOZEN LINES. And I'd like to get more acquainted with him, now that the release of Days has introduced new canon, but between the cost and my course I cannot possibly justify buying a DS at this point.
Sigh.
(Am I breaking up the tide of entries about something few of you watch with an entry about a game even fewer of you play? I am not sure I am doing this 'not boring everyone senseless' thing correctly.)
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(26 comments | comment on this)
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| Tuesday, October 27th, 2009
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1:33 pm - That's What I'm Talking About.
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I am fairly certain that the guy who plays Jake in the Mentalist episode 'Carnelian, Inc.' also plays Charles Westmoreland in Prison Break. Lisbon's actress, of course, plays Veronica in Prison Break. Sadly, whilst I absolutely love Lisbon and Westmoreland, I'm not terribly interested in Jake or Veronica, so I am having trouble coming up with stupid Prison Break/The Mentalist crossovers based on their shared actors. They can't possibly not be crossed over! They share two actors! SURELY THERE IS SOME SORT OF RULE ABOUT THIS.
( And more on The Mentalist. Thoughts on the episodes 'Carnelian, Inc.' and 'Russet Potatoes'. )
I really like that Jane says 'Thank you' whenever anyone does something for him. People are generally not polite enough in television land! (Of course, there's probably a touch of calculation about it, making people feel that their helpfulness is recognised and so making them subconsciously more inclined to be helpful in the future, but it's still an aspect of his behaviour that I like very much.)
The 'Writer's Block' question on the front page is asking me with which fictional character I would most like to go on a date. Right now, I suppose my answer would have to be 'the entire CBI'. The only scenario I can really envision for that is 'I'm a murder suspect in California and they arrest me', though, which would be sort of a rubbish date. Perhaps just Jane, then, and we can go to a restaurant and he can show off by reading my body language, and then I can give him a much-needed hug, which of course will have been my secret motive for the date all along. (He'll have worked out my 'secret motive' two minutes into it, of course, but he won't say anything.)
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(25 comments | comment on this)
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| Monday, October 26th, 2009
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6:29 am - The 'Ship Name Could Be Janeveryone. (Or, Er, Not.)
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( The Mentalist. Episode spoilers for 'Scarlett Fever' and 'Bloodshot'. )
The more I watch of The Mentalist, the more I actually want to write CBI ménage à cinq fanfiction, although goodness knows how I'd go about it.
I'm not sure it's really a ménage à cinq, actually; whilst I 'ship Jane/Lisbon and Jane/Van Pelt and Jane/Cho and Jane/Rigsby, the only non-Jane pairing I really 'ship at the moment is Van Pelt/Rigsby. So I suppose it'd be more 'Jane is in love with everyone' fanfiction than a true OT5. Not that there's anything wrong with taking a 'Jane is in love with everyone' perspective; I'm just thinking aloud.
And how would it work? Would the other characters know? Would only some of them know? Would Rigsby be vaguely aware that something's going on, Cho and Van Pelt able to pick up on Jane's behaviour towards them personally but unaware that it's a bit wider than that, and Lisbon astute enough to work out that Jane is actually totally in love with all of them? If all the characters know, are they all right with it (either Jane's love for them personally or specifically the fact that he is in love with everyone (I imagine Van Pelt and Rigsby, at least, would be slightly uncertain about the concept of polyamory))? Would actual sex be involved, or just love and adorability and Jane falling asleep with his feet on Cho's lap and his head on Van Pelt's?
I don't know. What I do know is that contemplating this is making me smile a ridiculous amount. Jane/everyone is the best pairing ever.
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(13 comments | comment on this)
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| Sunday, October 25th, 2009
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11:16 am - Finding A Full-Length Ruby Picture Is, Incidentally, Really Difficult.
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My goodness, I haven't posted a stupid manip for ages! Here, to rectify this, is a picture of Sam and Ruby with their Pokémon:
I get the impression that Sam's Espeon knows more than she's letting on. (In fact, I am generally finding the way in which their Pokémon are staring at us whilst Sam and Ruby have their backs turned really quite unnerving. I AM NOT SUPPOSED TO BE FREAKED OUT BY MY OWN PHOTOMANIPS.)
Yes, Dean disapproves of Sam spending time with Ruby, but, Sam argues, she has an Eevee evolution. She can't be all bad.
Dean and his Growlithe roll their eyes and go back to their training. (Man, why won't Dean's Growlithe evolve? He's been trying to get it to evolve for years. No, this is completely freaking not about Dad's Arcanine. Shut the hell up.)
As always, you are invited to make your own Pokémon or Supernatural-related photomanips and post them in the comments! (Extra points for giving Pokémon to the characters of The Mentalist.)
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(39 comments | comment on this)
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| Saturday, October 24th, 2009
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3:33 pm - It Can't Be My Fault; I'm Just Sitting Here.
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Alona Tal is in the 'Crimson Casanova' episode of The Mentalist! Hi, Jo! And Patrick Jane thinks she's probably good in bed!
This means, of course, that my mind is now being assaulted by a terrible Supernatural crossover idea in which Patrick Jane is one of the 'special children' and the Yellow-Eyed Demon takes his wife and he discovers the world of hunting in his desperate efforts to find out what happened to her and makes his way to the Roadhouse and has sex with Cho THAT WAS NOT WHAT I MEANT TO TYPE Jo. I can't say I am too distressed by the concept.
(Speaking of Jane having sex with Cho, though: the 'I AM TAKING YOU SHOPPING FOR CLOTHES' scene was such a lovely Jane/Cho moment! I am quite sad that we did not get to see the actual shopping trip. And Cho was generally wonderful in this episode (he approaches talking to women as if it's an interrogation! hee!).)
I actually covered my mouth with my hands when it was revealed that Jane still wears his wedding ring. And then I went back to see whether it was in previous episodes, and it was, and my heart broke.
I generally spent the whole of this (rather delightful) episode overwhelmed with love for the entire team. I was sort of blinded by the amazing of Jane and Lisbon for the first few episodes, but by this point I have fallen hopelessly for Van Pelt and Rigsby and Cho and all the interactions within the team and Jane's massive polyamorous love for everyone.
I love it all. I love them all. I love the joy The Mentalist brings me.
I love having new fandoms.
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(31 comments | comment on this)
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| Thursday, October 22nd, 2009
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4:33 pm - Cooltrainer Van Pelt And A Cautionary Tale.
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I think 'Paint It Red' is my favourite episode of The Mentalist so far. Patrick Jane is such a dick! I do not know why this delights me so much, but it does. I kept going back to rewatch the scene in which he embarrasses Van Pelt and grinning massively. Sorry for laughing at your discomfort, Van Pelt; I like you enormously, but heeee. (I find myself 'shipping Jane/Van Pelt quite a bit more after that episode.)
Other things I love: the ending! Jane lying adorably on the sofa! His sheer audacity in the mob boss bit, and his massive ':D *thumbs up*' afterwards! The most unnecessary phone call ever!
(...and, hey, it turns out that this episode was written by the person who wrote 'Red Brick and Ivy'! All is forgiven, sir.)
I feel I have now watched enough of The Mentalist to begin tentatively assigning the characters Pokémon. (This is, of course, an essential step in the process of getting to know a set of characters.) Van Pelt has a Growlithe. Rigsby has a Vulpix. Cho has an undersized but fierce male Nidoran that stands on the desk and glares at suspects whilst Cho interrogates them. Lisbon has an Ivysaur; it's generally well-behaved, but Jane delights in trying to make it disobey her orders.
Jane himself is tricky. I considered Golduck, just because it can learn Psychic moves without actually being a Psychic type, but I don't think a Golduck really fits him. Perhaps a Persian or something with a similar air of smugness?
On the similarly important subject of Hogwarts houses: Van Pelt is a Gryffindor, Lisbon is a Ravenclaw, Rigsby is a Hufflepuff. Jane, much like Derren Brown, hovers on the border between Ravenclaw and Slytherin; he'd probably be sorted into Slytherin in the end. Cho I'm not sure about; perhaps another Gryffindor?
...oh, cock, I've just checked my online timetable and realised that my lecture was in fact now, as opposed to three o'clock (as it has been for the past two weeks).
What do you think my chances are of getting from London to Brighton in minus two minutes?
I am an idiot.
(The above was written at eleven o'clock; it is now half past four. Whilst my efforts to go back in time met with failure, I discovered on the train that a second group was attending the same lecture at two o'clock, so I went to that instead. It's a mini adventure!)
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(11 comments | comment on this)
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| Wednesday, October 21st, 2009
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12:06 pm - I Do Love You, Mentalist, But Sometimes You Snore.
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I wasn't a big fan of 'Red Brick and Ivy', largely because it was written by a man who seemed worried that we wouldn't realise when Patrick Jane was joking unless another character said 'lol you just made a joke'. The first time it happened I thought 'oh, please don't unnecessarily point out that that was a joke' before the man said, 'Ah, humour! Good!', so I suppose it must have happened in previous episodes, although I can't think of any specific examples (I think it may previously have taken the form of people saying 'you think you're so clever, don't you?', which is at least better than just saying 'AH, THIS IS AN EXAMPLE OF HUMOUR').
I promise you, Mentalist writers, Patrick Jane can stand on his own. If you feel the need to point out to the audience that he is clever and witty by having other characters comment on how clever and witty he is, you're probably not writing him as clever and witty enough. Most of the time this isn't a problem, and Patrick Jane is his wonderful self without requiring a flashing sign over his head telling us how wonderful he is, but that particular episode really frustrated me.
I did love the driving exchange between Lisbon and Jane at the end, though. Obviously Jane is Sam and Lisbon is Dean. Er, a Dean who disapproves of overly fast driving. Yes, all right, the parallel may not be exact. (Also, I want Lisbon and Jane to have incredibly filthy sex against a wall, whereas I think I'd just be a bit taken aback were that to happen with Sam and Dean.)
And then 'Red John's Friends' had the team showing enormous, beautiful loyalty to Jane, and I forgave everything. I love them.
Is there a single family in The Mentalist that could be described as 'functional'? About three quarters of the ones that have shown up so far have been blighted by adultery, and the members of the other quarter have generally been murdering each other. I sort of want the CBI to find themselves working with a completely happy family, just so I can watch Patrick Jane cry.
Wait, did I say that? I meant something much less cruel, of course. Just, er... for a change?
Sorry, Jane.
Sort of related to Patrick Jane crying: I'm about halfway through the first season (just watched 'Red Rum'), and I've realised that we haven't seen Jane at his home since the first episode. He's always working on a case, or with his team, or sleeping on the sofa in the office. Because, of course, he doesn't want to go home.
I'm a bit afraid that one day I'll meet Simon Baker on the street and go, 'Hi, um, I know you're not actually your character but you look a lot like him and he really needs a hug and I suppose hugging you would be the closest thing and - and - why are you running away?'
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| Tuesday, October 20th, 2009
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7:22 pm - You Can't See It, But I'm Giving You Imploring Looks Through The Screen.
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I just stumbled across an exchange I had with amy_wolf (link contains spoilers for the whole of Life on Mars), in the comments of an entry I posted in March, discussing a Derren Brown/Life on Mars crossover in which Sam Tyler's time in 1973 was the result of a Derren-induced trance.
Life on Mars isn't a fandom for which I've ever really been able to write, but I am beginning to wish it were, because this concept is amazing.
Seriously, it could work so well! Sam Tyler is a contestant on Trick or Treat, and draws a 'Treat' card. Derren Brown, choosing, as he occasionally does, to interpret 'treat' in a slightly unusual way, puts Tyler into a trance and causes him to believe he has travelled back in time to 1973 in order to help him resolve his issues with his father.
Which, eventually, he does, so Derren tries to bring him back to the real world.
He can't. Tyler, without being conscious of it, has become attached to 1973 and is resisting all efforts to draw him out of it.
Derren (who can walk around in and interact with Tyler's hallucination, which clearly makes no sense but is awesome and therefore possible, shut up) takes the place of Frank Morgan in the second series as he tries to bring the unwilling-but-unaware-of-his-own-reluctance Tyler out of his trance. He is more genuinely concerned for Tyler's welfare than Morgan was, and also less creepy. (But still a bit creepy.)
As time goes on and his efforts fail, Derren becomes less and less composed. Eventually, almost frantic, he forcibly drags Tyler out of his hallucinatory world.
Here follow the events of the Life on Mars finale. (Er, the UK one. Not the US one. The US one would just be odd.)
Spoilers for that finale below; highlight to read: Derren, of course, is completely consumed by guilt. AND ENDS UP GOING TO SILENT HILL no, wait, this is a serious fic. I mean, not that Silent Hill isn't serious, but I feel that adding in a third fandom and an entire 'journey through Silent Hill' plotline (with all the assless freak attacks that entails) onto the end of this tale of hypnotism gone horribly horribly wrong would perhaps be a bit much.
Ahem. Yes. Derren is consumed by guilt. All he wanted was to make good television and help a man realise the truth about his father! He didn't mean to kill anyone! Yes, perhaps he was a bit sadistic at times, but he never had any idea this would happen!
It would be quite a lot darker than I'm generally comfortable with when writing RPF, but this fic needs to exist.
In conclusion: this concept is awesome and I felt it needed to be shared. (Should you by any chance feel like writing the fic, incidentally, I am highly unlikely to prevent you.)
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(37 comments | comment on this)
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| Monday, October 19th, 2009
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7:01 pm - But How Would I Get Back Through The Screen?
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I really do have a tendency to overthink things. I was pondering the possibility of somehow bringing Patrick Jane into the real world just so I could give him a hug, because he really needs one (I was so sad when Van Pelt failed to hug him at the end of 'Seeing Red'. He's crying, Van Pelt! It's heartbreaking! Don't just close the door!), but then I started wondering whether it would be right to make a person with so much inner pain real, and whether discovering that his wife and child never truly existed would just make things worse for him, and seriously, imagination, all I wanted was a nice daydream in which I gave the poor man a hug. Must you ruin everything? I suppose I'll just have to confine my Jane-hugging plans to vague schemes of leaping through the screen into his world, then.
(I really hope I'm not the only person who worries excessively about wildly implausible scenarios. Last week I was panicking about being trapped in the world of Pride and Prejudice. What if Mr Bingley calls upon me to sing, as an accomplished young woman should be able to, and all I can think of is the Pokémon theme tune? It will be a disaster.)
Speaking of Jane's need for hugs: 'Seeing Red' broke my little heart. I actually made an embarrassing high-pitched keening noise after he said, 'Well, that would be very sad.' Oh, Jane.
The opening of 'The Thin Red Line' did help to take away the woe a little, though. Patrick Jane should always be holding an adorable baby. It would possibly be slightly impractical on occasion during his crime-fighting adventures, but it is nonetheless true.
( And some mildly spoilery thoughts on 'Flame Red'. )
I think 'Patrick Jane is quietly and genuinely in love with every person on his team' is my favourite piece of personal Mentalist canon. Not that I've had enough time to develop much, but still. It is such a lovely and yet heartbreaking thought!
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| Sunday, October 18th, 2009
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4:35 pm - I Do Wish It Had An Overblown, Ridiculous Theme Song, Though.
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Up to the sixth episode of The Mentalist, 'Red-Handed'!
- PATRICK JANE EVEN HAS A MEMORY PALACE. I CANNOT BELIEVE HOW SHAMELESSLY DERREN BROWN HE IS. They may as well have paused the episode at his explanation of his card-memorisation technique and flashed up the message 'IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO KNOW JANE'S TECHNIQUE, PLEASE READ PART THREE OF DERREN BROWN'S TRICKS OF THE MIND'.
I am not complaining about the fact that Patrick Jane is obviously so heavily inspired by Derren Brown. I am complaining about the fact that The Mentalist is unlikely to tribute Derren for his influence by having him show up in an episode and then make out with Jane. Tsk.
- The way Jane pokes about a crime scene and crawls around and sniffs things is actually a bit reminiscent of Sherlock Holmes. Does that mean that Lisbon is Watson? In any case, Lisbon and Watson need to meet and be mutually exasperated by their overly-perceptive, rather eccentric partners.
- I like it when Jane gets hugs. I think it should happen more often. (I also think he should get punched in the face more often, but mostly I'm in favour of hugs.)
- Regarding 'Redwood': I am really perplexed by the fact that a tracker dog can apparently pick up on skin flakes shed by a person who was travelling inside a van. He really must be the best tracker dog in the state.
- I love the way Jane can be kind of a git one moment and then turn around and do something ridiculously lovely the next. I do have rather a fondness for characters who are a little bit maddening but immensely good-hearted. The ending of 'Red-Handed' had me exclaiming '♥!' at the screen.
- YES, I CAN EXCLAIM A HEART.
- Also in 'Red-Handed', I adore the scene in which Jane gives his entire team expensive presents from his blackjack winnings. Never before have I so quickly leapt from 'yes, all right, I suppose I 'ship a couple of pairings in this group' to having an OT5. Love!
Maybe he collects people around him and falls in love with all of them in an attempt to create a substitute family.
...my heart.
(Apologies to those of you uninterested in The Mentalist. Here is a picture of some kittens.)
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(28 comments | comment on this)
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| Saturday, October 17th, 2009
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6:20 pm - Perhaps They Should Bring In An Actor Named Looney.
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Apparently, The Mentalist is directed by a man named David Nutter.
I just thought I'd mention it.
I like that nobody explicitly states how Jane used Van Pelt to find the car keys at the beginning of 'Red Tide', but a person familiar with the technique can tell. I felt smugly superior to an imaginary other viewer who didn't know, so the bonus for mentalists and readers of Derren Brown's writing was appreciated. (I also appreciated Jane and Van Pelt's sort-of dance whilst he was trying to establish where the keys were. Not 'shipping them yet (apart from the low level on which I appear to be 'shipping Patrick Jane with more or less everyone in the world), but they would be a really pretty couple. And he makes such a performance out of it! And he's so pleased with himself!)
Later in the episode, I assumed that Jane was staying behind at the beach for some undisclosed case-related reason, but pfft, no; he just wanted to make awesome sandcastles. Fair enough! (By 'fair enough' I may possibly mean 'asdagfgsfdfgh I love him'.)
Also, I really like how good Jane is with little kids.
...
...but now, having said that, I have realised why he is so good with little kids, and it sort of makes me want to cry. (NOTE OF CLARIFICATION FOR THOSE UNFAMILIAR WITH THE MENTALIST: Patrick Jane is not, as far as I know, a paedophile.)
You know what I would like to see? I would like to see Patrick Jane go head-to-head with Light Yagami. I think that would be fascinating.
I would also like him to meet Derren Brown, of course. After four episodes, I think I've developed the ability to separate Jane and Brown in my head, but I am immensely amused by the fact that the second, third and fourth episodes all use Derren Brown routines. Yes, all right, Derren Brown is a mentalist and the main character of The Mentalist is (surprise!) a mentalist, so some overlap was bound to occur, but still.
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10:33 am - I've Got A Mobile Phone And I'm Not Afraid To Use It.
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I have watched the second episode of The Mentalist! Still using a computer with tremendous amounts of slowdown. Still enjoying it so immensely that I barely care.
Oh, I do love Patrick Jane. I love his 'THIS IS THE BEST PLAN TO CATCH A MURDERER EVER :D :D :D' face. I love how overly free he is when looking around places for the investigation, lying down on the victim's bed and making himself tea. I love it when he totally knows who the killer is but doesn't tell the team anything because he wants to extract a particularly dramatic confession. I love the inappropriate amount of fun he has with murder investigations.
Also, I am beginning to 'ship Jane/Lisbon. Maybe. A little. Patrick Jane's heterosexuality bewilders me somewhat, because he is still totally Derren Brown in every other respect (that rock-paper-scissors sequence was oddly familiar, although Jane's hypnosis technique is more 'JUST SAY "SLEEP" A LOT' than the 'as you listen to my voice...' leading of Brown's), but I can forgive him when he and Lisbon are being argumentative and flirtatious and totally cute.
(Hmmm, I seem to have got over the weirdness of calling Jane 'Jane' rather quickly.)
Van Pelt is awfully pretty, isn't she? For some reason, I'd thought Van Pelt was the guy who totally has a crush on actual Van Pelt, but I think I managed to work it out in the second episode. Although I still don't know Guy Who Is Not Van Pelt's name. (His crush on Van Pelt is pretty adorable, whatever he's called.)
Oh, I love the experience of falling for a new fandom. This is a slightly unusual case, admittedly, because the protagonist is essentially the central figure of one of my other fandoms and so it's more like falling for an epic AU fic than something entirely fresh and new, but I still love it. (Seriously: had someone posted the first two episodes of The Mentalist to derrenbrownfic (rewritten in prose form and with Patrick Jane's name changed to 'Derren Brown', obviously) as an AU, would I have had any complaints with the characterisation? I dare say I'd have had very few.)
People are still recommending that I watch Psych, and from what I've heard it sounds like what would result were Scrubs and The Mentalist to have a baby (although of course it came before The Mentalist). I can't say I'm not intrigued. I'm concentrating on The Mentalist at the moment, but I'll keep an eye out.
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