Riona ([info]rionaleonhart) wrote,
@ 2009-07-10 18:56:00
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Entry tags:derren brown, final fantasy, final fantasy xii, implausible theories, insane crossovers, okay who the hell let riona make polls?, time-travelling sky pirates of ivalice, weird pairings, whoctor do and other anagrams

Because Your Friendspage Wasn't Swamped Enough Already.

RIONA'S THEORY: in the next series of Torchwood, the Torchwood team consists of Jack, Gwen, Rhys and Gwen's baby. The baby is more competent than the rest of them combined.

Actually, here's a question for you: let us assume that 'Children of Earth' ends with every Torchwood character but Jack dead. You have to pick the new team to work with him for Series Four. Which characters from other fandoms do you choose?

I want Balthier and Fran of Final Fantasy XII to work with Jack. Obviously. Because they make a ridiculously perfect trio. Perhaps they can call Derren Brown in as an occasional operative when they require his mindreading and lie-detecting skills. (Derren Brown is probably an alien.) However, the Jack-Balthier-Fran team should be primary. Derren can be the equivalent of Rhys, except less lovely and more terrifying and quite a lot more having sex with Jack.

I would entirely forgive Ianto's death were it to result in Jack, Balthier and Fran's working together, but I think that is sadly unlikely. Still, nobody ever expected Squaresoft and Disney to team up, so who knows?


On a more serious note: wow, I do not think I have ever seen my flist in such mourning for a fictional character before. I personally think Ianto had a good death scene, and, whilst I'm sad about it, I don't necessarily think it shouldn't have happened, which seems to be the opinion of many. It is a bit frustrating that it was such a needless death, though; there was no real reason for Ianto to be in that building.

Possibly my thinking that it wasn't actually a bad writing decision comes from my having convinced myself that there isn't going to be a fourth series. If there is, then, er, no, I can't really see Torchwood working now that Ianto has gone.

In fact, let's have a poll.


Poll #1427899 Because I'm curious.
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 38

Do you want Ianto to be resurrected in some way?

View Answers

No; it would cheapen the impact of his death.
3 (7.9%)

Well, it would cheapen the impact of his death, but I wouldn't complain.
17 (44.7%)

Screw the impact of his death; I want Ianto back.
17 (44.7%)

No, because I don't like Ianto.
1 (2.6%)

What would your answer be if you knew for a fact there was not going to be a fourth series? (You are allowed to select the same answer, obviously.)

View Answers

No; it would cheapen the impact of his death.
13 (34.2%)

Well, it would cheapen the impact of his death, but I wouldn't complain.
12 (31.6%)

Screw the impact of his death; I want Ianto back.
12 (31.6%)

No, because I don't like Ianto.
1 (2.6%)

And if you knew for certain there was?

View Answers

No; it would cheapen the impact of his death.
4 (10.5%)

Well, it would cheapen the impact of his death, but I wouldn't complain.
11 (28.9%)

Screw the impact of his death; I want Ianto back.
22 (57.9%)

No, because I don't like Ianto.
1 (2.6%)

This is where you write a mini-fic about your hypothetical Torchwood team for Series Four. Alternatively: mini-fic about Ianto Jones not being dead.


(23 comments) - (Post a new comment)


[info]dracothelizard
2009-07-10 07:39 pm UTC (link)
I should've gone with Zombie Ianto in my commentfic, really.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]rionaleonhart
2009-07-10 07:47 pm UTC (link)
Not really about Ianto not being dead, though, is it?

(Also, someone had to suggest the Torchwood/Top Gear crossover.)

Edited at 2009-07-10 07:48 pm UTC

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

[info]dracothelizard
2009-07-10 07:51 pm UTC (link)
We-ell, that depends on the type of zombie. Or Vampire!Ianto. He could sparkle and be annoyed by it. Then again, Torchwood has already had an Undead team member with Owen.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

[info]amy_wolf
2009-07-11 01:27 am UTC (link)
Now you've got me picturing Zombie Ianto meeting Zombie Piers Morgan.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

[info]zeitheist
2009-07-10 07:41 pm UTC (link)
The next series of Torchwood, the Torchwood team consists of Jack, Gwen, Rhys and Gwen's baby. The baby is more competent than the rest of them combined.

AN AWARD-WINNING PREMISE.

I haven't seen this series of Torchwood yet (I'm recording it with Sky+), but I want to play the hypothetical Torchwood team game, oh yes I do. In my hypothetical S5, Jack Harkness is given reinforcements by UNIT, in the form of scarily competent UNIT operative Jensen Ackles. Like most scarily competent UNIT operatives, Jensen is unruffled by Jack's attempts to flirt with him. This makes Jack sad in the face, but sometimes he wakes up on his desk and somebody's thrown a blanket over him in the night, which is nice. Jack also ends up recruiting one Misha Collins, who got caught trying to hack into UNIT's database, started working for them, and spent most of his time fucking with people (both literally and metaphorically). He is a man after Jack's own heart. Oh! And obviously Jared starts working for them, although idk how. He has no prior experience in hunting aliens, and Jack pairs him up with Jensen to try and prolong his life a little bit, but they sort of end up in a weird quasi-romance. Cue hilarious story arc where Misha and Jack try to play matchmaker for Jensen and Jared.

Then, because there are entirely too many American men in this equation, I would also have Sally Sparrow from the episode Blink find out about Torchwood and recruit herself. She kicks ass and takes names, and all the boys are a little bit unnerved by her - except Misha, who is just in love. Martha would also periodically turn up, and her and Jack would sit in his office and have heartfelt talks about his poor dead team and his feelings of inadequacy.

Also PC Andy would be a guest-star, because I love PC Andy. He would be a little bit starry-eyed over Sally Sparrow. That situation would eventually resolve itself in a threesome, as most of my ideas usually do.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]rionaleonhart
2009-07-10 07:47 pm UTC (link)
Oh my goodness, is there any chance you'll actually write this? Because I need Jack Harkness/Misha Collins. It hadn't occurred to me before, but now that you have introduced the idea I need it desperately and immediately.

(Every other part of this idea is similarly amazing, but nothing can quite match the sheer insane brilliance of Jack/Misha.)

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

[info]zeitheist
2009-07-10 07:59 pm UTC (link)
I know! I basically want Misha Collins and Jack Harkness to occasionally hook up, and Jack will be all worried about what Misha expects from such a liaison, and the fact that he's sleeping with another employee, etc etc.

Misha: You know, casual sex is actually quite beneficial. Lowers stress levels, raises endorphins, that sort of thing. If we weren't all so sexually uptight, we'd probably be a lot less unhappy, as a nation. As long as you do it right, there's no reason why everybody involved can't have fun.
Jack: Had a lot of casual gay sex, have we?
Misha: Pshh. Labels.
Jack: *_____*

I totally have visions of Jack walking into the Hub one day, seeing Jensen patching up one of Jared's wounds in the med bay, and stopping to stare. Because, seriously: when did that happen? Misha looks up from his game of Minesweeper/eating an apple, follows Jack's gaze, says "... twenty dollars Jared makes the first move", and then goes back to the screen.

(I actually signed up to write CWRPS in [info]rpf_big_bang, but I don't think this would count. I MIGHT STILL WRITE IT ANYWAY).

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

[info]twicetheheart31
2009-07-10 08:57 pm UTC (link)
THIS is the most brilliant thing I've seen in a long time.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

[info]zeitheist
2009-07-10 09:22 pm UTC (link)
I legitimately want to write it, now. I feel like Misha Collins/Jack Harkness is something that needs to exist.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

[info]rionaleonhart
2009-07-10 09:50 pm UTC (link)
Do it do it do it do it. (Surely it would count for the Big Bang! Is there some sort of rule against awesome?)

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

[info]zeitheist
2009-07-10 10:03 pm UTC (link)
The Master giving me the thumbs-up makes me nervous. :(

I've just signed my own death warrant checked, and I think it might count for the Big Bang: as long as Jensen/Jared is the "main" pairing. I was going to write a lot of it from Jack's POV, though, so I think maybe that would disqualify it?

... ah, screw it. I'll just write it anyway. Sometimes we have to make sacrifices for Jack Harkness/Misha Collins.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

[info]dracothelizard
2009-07-11 04:34 pm UTC (link)
Crossovers with fiction are allowed, otherwise me and my Top Gear/Burn Notice crossover as in trouble.

From the FAQ post:

2. Is it okay to use a fictional 'verse?
This was the amended rule #2. Yes, you may use the fictional 'verse as well as the characters. However, the main pairing/characters must be real people.

3. Are crossovers and AUs allowed?
Yes. They are welcomed and encouraged.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

[info]dracothelizard
2009-07-10 07:52 pm UTC (link)
Now there's a fun RPF AU plot!

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

[info]zeitheist
2009-07-10 08:07 pm UTC (link)
Just think: all that and saving the world from hostile aliens! It's a winning combination!

(Reply to this) (Parent)

[info]nefersitra
2009-07-10 07:53 pm UTC (link)
I didn't put it in my reply to the poll but I really think that if we are putting Jensen Ackles into Series 5 (which I am *all* in favour of) can we have him as Alec from Dark Angel? Because the idea of Alec and Jack let loose in Cardiff is funny and I am sure Torchwood probably knows about Manticore.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]rionaleonhart
2009-07-10 09:53 pm UTC (link)
I have never watched Dark Angel, but I am compelled to give ridiculous crossovers a thumbs-up whether I know the canon or not. Especially if they involve Jensen Ackles.

(Hello, by the way! I don't believe we've met.)

(Reply to this) (Parent)

[info]timydamonkey
2009-07-10 09:19 pm UTC (link)
RIONA'S THEORY: in the next series of Torchwood, the Torchwood team consists of Jack, Gwen, Rhys and Gwen's baby. The baby is more competent than the rest of them combined.

I now have this horrifying image of the Torchwood team consisting of Jack, Gwen, Rhys and the baby from My Hero.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]rionaleonhart
2009-07-10 09:55 pm UTC (link)
I have never seen My Hero. I suspect this may be for the best.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

[info]timydamonkey
2009-07-10 09:57 pm UTC (link)
I am now going to find you a clip by skulking through youtube. I will return momentarily!

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

[info]timydamonkey
2009-07-10 10:02 pm UTC (link)
Right, can't find any isolated clips but did find one near the beginning of a full episode.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KeLEsEeIA1c

Watch from around 1:18 until about 2:30. :P That's the baby.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

[info]make_a_move
2009-07-10 09:28 pm UTC (link)
I vote for Ianto to somehow join the Good Omens 'verse and start working in Aziraphale's bookshop (which puzzles him greatly - what is he doing there, he has no memory of hiring this man. It must be part of the Ineffable Plan). Crowley is highly intrigued by this new addition, and kind of wants to tempt him. Ianto just smiles at him knowingly, and gives him some coffee.

(Reply to this)


[info]timydamonkey
2009-07-10 09:44 pm UTC (link)
Also, I really can't write short fic! Oh well.

(Reply to this)


[info]dracothelizard
2009-07-11 04:35 pm UTC (link)
I'm sure [info]strangeumbrella will be happy to know her commentfic already exists. It's called The Sarah Jane Adventures, and it's AWESOME.

(Reply to this)

(23 comments) - (Post a new comment)

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