Trabia Garden

Maybe Van Pelt Is A Bit Taken With Dean.

2009-11-09T19:55:27Z

I am very nearly caught up on The Mentalist!

At the beginning of 'Red Scare', I found myself wondering whether I had accidentally put on a Supernatural episode. I spent the rest of the episode half-expecting the Winchesters to show up and was mildly disappointed when they didn't.

(The Winchesters investigate a case! The CBI are already investigating it! Cho interrogates Sam! Dean becomes convinced that this guy with a girl's name is actually psychic and they need to take him out! (They don't actually take him out, though. That would make the concept much less delightful. (Maybe Sam takes him out to dinner.)))

Van Pelt and Rigsby were adorable enough to make up for the lack of Winchesters, though. I love them. Also, the part where Jane was leaning casually against a ledge and drinking tea and basically looked like he was having the most civilised phonesex ever with Cho was bizarrely and enormously hot.

Over the weekend, I made the following rather perplexing slipup when talking to my housemate:

Riona: Would you like some drugs? ...no, not drugs. Water.

It was late and I was sleepy, but that doesn't really make it much less confusing.

(Between that and my starting a story with 'A friend of mine was once strangling me - not for erotic reasons...' in the middle of a discussion about autoerotic asphyxiation, I think my housemate may be slightly afraid of me.)

Fanfiction: Gotta Camelotch Them All (Merlin/Pokémon)

2009-11-06T15:11:38Z

th_esaurus requested a Merlin/Pokémon ficsnippet in this entry, but it became a little long for a comment, so here it is!

(This is an expansion of a commentfic I wrote some months ago, so some of you may have seen the opening before.)

I apologise sincerely for the title.

Title: Pokémon: DragonFire Red Version (or 'Gotta Camelotch Them All')
Fandoms: Merlin/Pokémon
Rating: PG
Wordcount: 1,800ish
Summary: In which Pokémon appear in Camelot.

"Merlin," Arthur says. "What is this?"

'This' turns out to be a strange animal, sitting on Arthur's bed and looking around as if lost. It is gripping a bone tightly in both paws, and its head is almost completely covered, worryingly, by what looks like another animal's skull.

"Yes, Merlin, I can see that," Arthur says, rolling his eyes, when Merlin tells him what it is. "What's it called? I've never seen anything like it."

"If I knew what it was called," Merlin says, "don't you think I would've mentioned that?"

"You're useless," Arthur says. "Take its helmet off so we can see its face."

"Why can't you do it?" Merlin demands.

Arthur gives him a look.

Manservant. Right.

Merlin approaches the animal, carefully, and puts out a hand to touch the skull. The animal hits him over the fingers with its bone, which hurts, and then bursts into tears.

Merlin and Arthur stare at it.

"I think maybe we should just ask Gaius," Merlin says.

-
"What you have just described to me," Gaius says, giving Merlin and Arthur a very strange look, "is a Cubone."

"Great," Merlin says. "What do we do with it?"

"Well, I think we consider how in the world you could have seen one," Gaius says. "It is a creature of legend. Cubone do not exist."

"Right," Merlin says. "Well, it might not exist, but it's here. In the castle."

Gaius raises an eyebrow, and then there's a knock on the door and Morgana enters, carrying what looks like a fox cub in her arms.

"I'm sorry," she says, keeping her voice low. "I think it's been attacked. I don't know whether you can treat it, but..."

"Pix," the fox calls, weakly, and Merlin suddenly realises that he has never seen a fox with six tails before.

"What is that?" Arthur demands.

"It's hurt, whatever it is," she says, bringing it to Gaius.

He peers at it over the top of his glasses, and strokes its blood-matted fur, and then lifts it carefully out of her arms and sets it on the table. It paws weakly at the wood, then curls up and falls asleep.

"Is that another legendary creature?" Arthur asks. "I've certainly never seen one before."

"Of the same sort, yes," Gaius says.

"How can that be? They look completely different."

"But they are both from the same set of legends." Gaius looks intently at the fox. "This creature is called a Vulpix. Both Vulpix and Cubone are what are known as Pokémon. There are hundreds of different species."

"Cubone?" Morgana asks, at the moment Arthur repeats, "Hundreds?"

"Are we going to be finding hundreds of these in the castle, then?" Merlin asks.

"Let's hope not," Gaius says. He pauses, then adds, "Arthur, fetch the Cubone so we can have a look at it."

"Merlin," Arthur says, "go and get the Cubone from my chambers."

"Merlin," Gaius says, sternly, "is my apprentice. He may need to know how to treat Pokémon in the future. He is staying here."

Arthur stares. "I'm the Crown Prince. I'm not supposed to be running around fetching animals."

"Morgana, go with him," Gaius says. "You can bear the indignity between you."

Morgana, evidently too amused by Arthur's protests to object, nods.

"You just said it's legendary," Arthur says. "We don't know what it could do."

"According to the legends, Pokémon do not attack humans."

"It attacked Merlin!" Arthur points out. Whilst Merlin thinks that this is a fair point, he is not entirely happy about Arthur's using it to justify Merlin's going instead.

"Unless provoked," Gaius amends.

Arthur seems about to protest some more, but all of them are somewhat distracted when the sleeping fox gives a small sigh, and with the sigh comes a flame that sets Gaius' much-abused bench alight.

"Is it magical?" Arthur demands, staring at it. "I should tell my father."

"Mention none of this to the king until we know why they are here," Gaius says, beating the fire out with a cloth. "Cubone," he adds, after a moment, "cannot breathe fire."

Arthur is fairly easily persuaded after that.

"Now," Gaius says, when the door has closed, "we can find out more about our unexpected guests."

Merlin quickly realises why Gaius sent Morgana and Arthur out of his chambers; the device he brings out is a strange red object, which displays changing pictures and speaks in a voice unlike that of any human Merlin has ever heard. It is obviously magical.

"Cubone," the device says, when Gaius has fiddled with it a little. "The Lonely Pokémon. Its mother dies in childbirth, and so it wears her skull to remember her. Because of this, nobody has ever seen Cubone's real face."

There is a short silence, broken only by the snuffles of the fox.

"We should probably avoid mentioning the origin of the skull to Uther or Arthur," Gaius says, eventually.

-
The Pokémon don't actually seem to be doing much harm, accidentally setting things on fire aside, but Merlin's got a feeling there'll be trouble if Uther finds out about them, and so he pays a visit to the Great Dragon.

"Hello?" Merlin calls as he walks into the cave, and then he stops and stares.

"Hello, young warlock," the Great Dragon says.

"Char," his friend adds.

"Er," Merlin says, his eyes on the orange dragon's flaming tail. "I was going to say there are Pokémon in the castle, but, er, it looks like you already know. That – that is a Pokémon, isn't it?"

"Charizard," it says.

"Of course I know," the Dragon says. "I was the one to bring them here."

"You brought them here?"

"It is terrible lonely, being the last of one's kind," the Dragon says, extending his wings. "The dragon Pokémon are not true dragons, and Charizard is not even Dragon-typed, but there is still a kinship that runs deep between us."

"Right," Merlin says. "Can you put them back?"

"Why do you wish them gone?" the Dragon asks. "They will not harm you."

"The Cubone hit me."

"Then you must have upset it, in which case it has every right. A Cubone's life is not easy."

"Seriously, you can't send them back?" Merlin asks. "Because Uther's going to find out about them, and he's not going to be happy."

"Uther's unhappiness is no concern of mine." The Dragon considers Merlin. "Think of this as an opportunity. You could be a fine Pokémon trainer."

"A what?"

"Ask your friend, the physician," the Dragon says. "One day you will give me your thanks."

-
Arthur accosts Merlin the moment he steps into the courtyard the next morning.

"It won't leave me alone," he hisses. "I tried to leave it with Gaius, but when I went out of the room it wouldn't stop crying."

"Bone!" the Cubone says.

"It's like you," Arthur says, which Merlin thinks is a bit unfair. He's never actually clung to Arthur's leg before.

"Has the king seen it?"

"Not yet, but I can hardly conceal it if it's always wrapped around me like this. And then there's Morgana with her Vulpixy... thing."

"It won't let go of her either?"

"She won't let go of it. Gaius made up some sort of potion for it, and now it's trotting along at her heels. I keep telling her it could set the tapestries alight at any moment, but she won't listen. I think she's actually thinking of names."

"Good morning," Gwen calls, walking past.

"Eeee!" agrees the little brown rabbitlike creature on her shoulder.

Arthur kicks a boulder. It makes a disgruntled noise and hops away.

-
"Gaius," Merlin says. "What's a Pokémon trainer?"

"In the legends, a trainer befriends Pokémon and raises them," Gaius says, examining the Pokémon that turned up amongst Merlin's clothes this morning; it is blue and white and looks a bit like a snake, but Gaius has assured Merlin that it is friendly and non-poisonous. "The Pokémon protect him, and in return he provides them with care and affection."

"Do you think I should try it?"

Gaius raises an eyebrow. "Well, given your talent for getting yourself into trouble, you could certainly do with some protection." He turns back to the Pokémon. "This is a Dratini. A Dragon-type Pokémon. It is extremely rare."

It doesn't look like a dragon, Merlin thinks, which is just as well, because his experience of dragons has been very frustrating. "I thought all Pokémon were legendary."

Gaius smiles. "True, but some legendary creatures are even more surprising to encounter than others." He lifts the Dratini. "In perfect health, if a little undersized. Very rare indeed. Very powerful." He drapes it over Merlin's shoulders. Merlin sits very still, half-expecting to be choked, but the Dratini just tucks its tail under its chin and lies there like a scarf, looking curiously up at him. "If you want to try raising a Pokémon, I think this one fits you perfectly."

-
"Oh, not you, too," Arthur mutters, rolling his eyes, when he sees the Dratini around Merlin's neck.

"Sorry," Merlin says, grinning sheepishly, before something occurs to him and his grin drops. "Has the king found out yet?"

"As it happens, he has."

"And?"

"Given that my father now has a giant dog that breathes fire," Arthur says, "I think you'll be allowed to keep your... whatever it is."

-
Over the next few days, Pokémon become an increasingly commonplace sight in Camelot. Merlin becomes more and more fond of the little Dratini sleeping around his neck. Morgana is never in the corridors without her Vulpix, sleek and well-groomed and a little haughty-looking, trotting along before her. Gaius is assisted in his medicine-brewing by something called a 'Chansey'.

Arthur eventually accepts that the Cubone isn't going to leave and names it 'Merlin'. Merlin is flattered at first, but he realises the real reason behind the name about the third time he comes running to Arthur's assistance and finds he's actually talking to his Pokémon.

Arthur stops complaining about it after it knocks out a group of bandits with a well-aimed bone throw.

-
"It has come to my attention," Uther announces a fortnight after the Pokémon started to appear, his Arcanine by his side, "that there is a new evil amongst us. I speak, of course, of the Psychic and Dragon types."

Merlin spends the rest of the day trying to find a way to magically conceal his Dratini inside a small ball.

As if he didn't have enough to hide already.

Wha-- What Are These Australians?

2009-11-05T12:38:41Z

I almost added this into my previous entry, but I felt I was editing it a little too much, so I'm saying it here instead. In The Mentalist: Revealed:

Robin Tunney: Every guest star that comes on, I say, 'Hey, when you meet Simon, tell him that your mother thinks he's a real fox.'

Owain Yeoman: We'd say to the guest stars, 'You may feel like the air conditioning is broken. It's not the air conditioning; it's just Simon's on the set, and it's the heat. You're feeling the heat. You're being baked by the Baker right now.'

I think I may possibly be a bit in love with this cast.

(There's something a bit sad about the shift in one's perception that occurs when watching a series after having seen the actors out of character, though. Patrick Jane seems more real before one sees proof that this Simon Baker fellow really exists. CLEARLY PATRICK JANE IS BAKER'S AMERICAN TWIN. Ooh, or Baker is Jane's secret identity.)

New personal canon: when Patrick Jane comes up with a particularly brilliant way of catching a criminal, he has been known to kiss his reflection in the mirror. Cho has a video of this on his mobile phone. He occasionally threatens to use it as blackmail, despite knowing that Jane doesn't really care who sees it.

Lisbon is adorable in 'Red Badge'. Adorable! I wish to give her many hugs. And it is such a lovely Jane/Lisbon episode (he strokes her haaaair)!

'Life is a game,' says Jane. I think that sounds rather Luxord-ish, don't you?

I think what we must conclude from this is that Derren Brown is the Heartless, Luxord is (obviously) the Nobody, and Patrick Jane is the original human. It's just sad that Jane doesn't have the physical resemblance Brown and Luxord have, because otherwise this theory works perfectly. (Well, and his name isn't 'Rould'.)

Red John is totally going to turn out to be Luxord.

Whilst I'm in smalltext, it's time for another edition of Confusing Things I Have Discovered In My Notebook:

they're Lisbon and the Jane
yes, Lisbon and the Jane
one is a genius
but also insane
they're with the CBI
an agent and some guy
they're Lisbon; they're Lisbon and the Jane, Jane, Jane, Jane, Jane, Jane, Jane, Jane, Jane

I... I don't know.

No Assless Freaks For You.

2009-11-03T20:15:50Z

I cannot find any Mentalist fanvids set to 'Read My Mind' by The Killers. You disappoint me, fandom.

(I also cannot find any Jane/his entire team fanfiction! Come on, guys, don't make me cry. Although, as I have just stumbled across a Patrick Jane/Tony Stark fic, I think I may have to forgive you. I SHALL EXPECT JANE/EVERYONE AT SOME POINT, HOWEVER. (And possibly Pepper Potts/Van Pelt.))

Something that interests me: although I have written very little Mentalist fic so far, I have already noticed that I tend to gravitate towards Van Pelt's point of view. I have no idea why. I suppose it makes sense that I'm not writing from Jane's point of view, despite the fact that he is easily my favourite character, because the actual show tends to obscure his intentions from us for most of the episode and so we're always kept at a slight distance from him, but why Van Pelt specifically? There are aspects of her character - her faith, her very careful morality - that make me worry about whether I'll be able to write her well, but somehow hers is still the perspective into which I naturally fall. Odd.

I have now seen the first two episodes of the second season! And, oh, the beginning of 'Redemption' was all about the team having become Jane's family and his inability to admit it to himself. I love the amount of support The Mentalist offers for the pairing of Jane/everyone. I'm not sure how genuinely I believed it when I came up with the theory, but then every episode reinforced it and now I can't help thinking of 'Jane is deeply in love with every member of his unit' as canon. Best canon ever.

Minor spoilers for the episode; highlight to read: AND HE HUGS LISBON. ♥! Just Cho and Van Pelt to go! I mean, it's totally okay if Jane wants to hug any member of his team more than once, but he certainly has to at least give them a hug each. (And, oh, when he says 'I have nothing else to do' and literally means that the job is the only thing that has any meaning in his life, augh.)

NUMBER ONE ON THE LIST OF THINGS I AM ABSOLUTELY NOT ALLOWED TO FIND HOT: PATRICK JANE SNIFFING A DEAD BODY AHDHSHHDDFJFGH RIONA STOP REWINDING TO REWATCH IT WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU

Regarding 'The Scarlett Letter': I love how rubbish Jane is at running. Possibly a weird character detail of which to become fond, but I love it. I love that, if there is any way he can possibly avoid running, he'll take it. I love that, if he is forced to run, he's so half-hearted about it that he looks like he's moving in slow motion. I love that he's out of breath in seconds.

I also love that he thinks of the couch as 'his couch' and is far too protective of it. Aww! (Jane was so cute in this episode.)

I want to see an episode in which Jane completely screws up. I know he's screwed up before, not generally in a 'reaching the wrong conclusion' sense but in an 'approaching things the wrong way and getting the suspect killed' sense, but what I want is an episode in which he screws up and as a result a member of his team is almost killed.

I am sorry that I want so many horrible angstful things to happen to you, Jane, but I can't help it. This wouldn't happen if you weren't so good at having horrible angstful things happen to you.

EDIT: I just started watching The Mentalist: Revealed, and Simon Baker said, 'Call me a sex symbol all you like, 'cause sometimes, when I wake up, I wouldn't want to sleep with me,' and I immediately wanted so much Jane/Jane fanfiction.

Oh, dear.

(ALSO THIS IS A REALLY WEIRD EXPERIENCE. A man with Patrick Jane's face is speaking with an Australian accent! Rigsby's actor is British! I do not know what to think any more. (Yeoman's accent startled me so much that I had to rewatch what he was saying a couple of times before the similarly disconcerting fact that Rigsby's actor was talking about how attractive Jane's actor is sunk in.))

EDIT AGAIN:

Owain Yeoman: I clearly have a crush on [Baker]. I've just literally just told you I love him! (giggles)

Oh, help. Who wants to take bets on how long it'll be before I'm writing RPF? I love this documentary already.

No, You Are Wrong. You Cannot Have A Pony.

2009-11-02T12:40:06Z

Today, I rushed from London to Brighton for a seminar that, I discovered upon arrival, had been cancelled.

Mildly put out, I returned to my Brighton abode, where I found a large and intriguing-looking package waiting for me. The details on the back informed me that the sender was a Vayne Aurelius, who, I discovered after a quick Googling, is the protagonist of a game called Mana Khemia: Alchemists of Al-Revis.

This was perplexing.

I opened the package to find a copy of The Thackery T. Lambshead Pocket Guide to Eccentric & Discredited Diseases, the editors of which, according to the blurb, 'received their medical degrees in a dream', and a rather charming and apologetic note from Mr Aurelius, written on the back of a 'Combat Basics 1' exercise sheet ('What to do if you encounter an extraterrestial:'), in which he explained that someone had wished that he send me the book and expressed his hope that I didn't mind receiving it. Inside the book was an empty envelope, on which was written 'To my dear Wainwright, with affectionate regards, Lady Cloudesley'.

I am deeply, deeply confused, and I have absolutely no idea who is responsible, but thank you so much! (I love the level of detail that's gone into this.)

I'm not participating in National Novel Writing Month this year, but I've decided that I'm going to try to at least write something every day during the month of November, whether it's a snippet or a full fic or part of a work in progress. Yesterday, I wrote a tiny clip of Jane and Cho snogging in the interrogation room; today, I am calling upon you to help me.

Give me a prompt, and I'll write you a ficsnippet. Multiple requests are more than welcome!

Feel free to request from anything you know I know! (Requesting from things you don't know I know is acceptable, but in that case it would probably be an idea to include a request or two from something you know I know as well, so you don't end up with 'BARNEY WAS A PERSON (PROBABLY). HE WAS PLAYED BY NEIL PATRICK HARRIS (I THINK, BUT I THINK EVERYONE'S PLAYED BY NEIL PATRICK HARRIS, SO I CAN'T BE SURE). HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER IS A SITCOM, SO AMUSING THINGS PROBABLY HAPPENED. THE END.') Crossovers and the like are, of course, fine.

(I'd be delighted if you made Mentalist requests, but please bear in mind that I'm only just starting to write these characters, so I'm still trying to get to grips with them. I've seen up to the first-season finale.)

Make as many requests as you'd like (and please don't feel you have to know me well to request a snippet); as I've said, I'm going to be trying to write every day, so any prompts would be gratefully received. Thank you!

Oh Dear, We've Got A Batch Of Immortal Spiders.

2009-11-01T17:22:38Z

How cute was the ending of that Merlin episode ('Beauty and the Beast, Part Two')? So cute. Let us all watch it again and bask in the cuteness. (People who do not watch Merlin are also invited to watch that clip, because it is only a minute long and really, really cute. IF THE NUMBER OF TIMES I HAVE SAID 'CUTE' IN THIS PARAGRAPH IS NOT ENOUGH TO CONVINCE YOU, I DON'T KNOW WHAT WILL BE.)

I have now finished the first season of The Mentalist! It has been a delightful journey from loving Patrick Jane for being an AU Derren Brown to loving him on his own merits, and from 'shipping Jane/Lisbon to 'shipping Jane/everyone in the entire world.

'Miss Red': oh, Jane is so adorably smitten with Con Artist Lady! I have no doubt that he broke her out afterwards. And he's great in 'Blood Brothers': 'I SHALL ESCAPE THIS CONVERSATION BY LEAPING ONTO THIS PASSING VEHICLE SEEYA.' And the rope stunt! Hee!

And then, of course, there is 'Red John's Footsteps', in which Jane stops being adorable and starts being scary. (Which I also love. Adorable Jane is, of course, adorable, but Scary Jane is fascinating.) I particularly enjoyed his sitting on the chair and listening to Bach, just as his nemesis had six months before. And the sacrifice he made at the end: wow.

You know what I want? I want fanfiction in which Red John goes after Jane's team, his surrogate family. And he leaves clues beforehand that this is what he intends to do, because Red John likes to play games. So it's all about Jane and his love for his team and his gradual realisation of exactly how much they mean to him as he tries desperately to protect them, terrified that history is going to repeat itself.

Actually, I want an episode like that. But fanfiction would also be amazing.

(The trouble with the concept is the fact that, from an objective point of view, I can see that it would probably work best if at least one member of the team were actually killed. From a subjective point of view, on the other hand, LA LA LA I CAN'T HEAR YOU NOT KILLING ANYONE.)

The combination of fandoms in this entry is making me ponder a Mentalist/Merlin crossover. I am inclined to doubt that Camelot is within the area covered by the California Bureau of Investigation, given that it is in both the wrong place and the wrong time period, but these are clearly minor details that may be handwaved for the sake of having Uther accuse Jane of being a witch and having Jane work out Merlin's secret.

Also, I want Arthur to be completely smitten with Van Pelt, rather to the displeasure of Gwen and Rigsby.

Just Typing This Is Making Me Want IX Icons.

2009-10-30T19:44:22Z

I don't talk much about Final Fantasy IX here, which is odd, because it's one of my favourite Final Fantasy games. One of the reasons for my lack of speaking about it is the fact that, although it is a great deal of fun (and I never quite understood how it managed that when the storyline is one of the saddest in the series, but it's probably something to do with Chocobo Hot & Cold), I'm not terribly interested in the cast. I don't dislike them, but I don't have the mad love for them that I do for the cast of VIII, or for the cast of X, or for Balthier and Fran. (Although I am rather fond of Freya. Oh, and Beatrix is wonderful!)

But, thinking about it, I've just realised that Zidane is in fact pretty awesome, and I don't give him enough credit as a protagonist. Squall and Cloud are intelligent but broody and rather self-absorbed; Tidus and Vaan are cheerful but a bit dim. Zidane manages to be optimistic and cheerful whilst still being intelligent. It is an excellent combination, and a realisation that has propelled him into competition with Squall for the title of my favourite Final Fantasy protagonist.

Also, for some reason, even though the cast isn't one of my favourites, I absolutely love the friendship tying it together. The 'You're Not Alone!' scene breaks my heart. With the possible exception of the ending of Final Fantasy X, I'm not sure any videogame scene has made so strong an impression on me. NOOOOOOO ZIDANE LISTEN TO YOUR FRIENDS. AND ALSO THE AMAZING BACKGROUND MUSIC. BUT MOSTLY YOUR FRIENDS. (I am fairly certain that, the first time I saw this scene, I gasped when he shouted at Vivi. You don't do that, Zidane!)

And Kuja is quite a fun villain, just because he is so interestingly nuts. Also, when he goes 'Hahahaha!', what I hear is the laugh of Jessie from Team Rocket, which obviously improves the game immensely.

And now for something completely different: a recent secret posted at fandomsecrets said that the secret-maker had, whilst reading Twilight, envisioned Edward Cullen as looking like Light Yagami of Death Note.

It was such a revelation for me.

Think about it: Edward Cullen is a powerful and dangerous (and hot) teenage boy. Bella is hopelessly in love with him. He could hurt her, but of course he would never do that.

That's right. Misa Amane wrote Twilight.

It all makes so much sense now!

Looking Good, Sport. Looking Good.

2009-10-29T16:46:14Z

Xemnas isn't terribly popular, is he? I did think that was rather a failing of Kingdom Hearts II: the most important enemy is one of the least interesting. Luxord is well-spoken and smirky; Demyx is an adorkable coward; Xemnas just stands on a castle and goes 'BLARGH HEARTS'.

(Er, sorry, twicetheheart31 and mad_lemming_89.)

Last night, I dreamt that I watched a new episode of Supernatural in which (Cortese's) Ruby, Lucifer and Castiel were about to have a threesome (involving broken glass!) before they were interrupted by the plot.

I came onto Livejournal to make a 'SERIOUSLY, DID I DREAM THAT EPISODE?' entry, and then, erm, yes.

(I was, I'll confess, deeply disappointed to realise that it hadn't actually happened. I - I don't suppose anyone has actually written Ruby/Lucifer/Castiel?)

Then I fell asleep again and dreamt that I was about to have a threesome with Ruby and Castiel. 'Lie back and relax, princess,' Ruby instructed me, which was sort of hot, but having woken I find myself worrying that my subconscious may think I am Lucifer. (Not because Ruby called me 'princess'. Although, now that I think about it, I can actually see her calling Lucifer 'princess'. It would be great.)

More of The Mentalist! The opening of 'Red Sauce' was probably the fastest I've ever gone from 'starting episode' to 'DELIGHTED SQUEAKING'. The team celebrate birthdays together! They have cake! They give each other presents! Jane guesses what the presents are! I am overwhelmed by adorability.

And then there was Unexpected Fredric Lehne! Sadly, his character was nothing like the Yellow-Eyed Demon. MAN, ACTORS, STOP PLAYING CHARACTERS WITH DIFFERENT PERSONALITIES. YOU'RE SO INCONSIDERATE. (Perhaps Azazel was possessing someone else for the duration of this episode? But whom?)

At the end: 'Meh; you're just trying to find fault.' Just trying to find fault! When she suggests that perhaps driving a mob boss up the wall isn't a good idea! Patrick Jane, you nutcase. (Jane was generally wonderfully mad in this episode. Hypnotising and hugging and taking far too much pleasure in annoying people all over the place! Being adorable clueless about golf ('could you hand me one of those sticks?')! His eventual extracting-a-confession method made me a bit uncomfortable - it just seemed a little too cruel - but then he shamelessly ogled Rigsby and I was right back to adoring him.)

With Apologies To Xion Fans, And Indeed Those Who Hate The Lot Of Them.

2009-10-28T20:56:40Z

I'm not sure I'm really qualified to make this poll, as I haven't played 358/2 Days (and, as I do not possess a DS, I don't suppose I'll be playing it in the near future), but a discussion on burningvigor's journal reminded me of my absurd love of Luxord leaping from the few beautiful seconds of him in Kingdom Hearts II, and so!

('A significant interest' is rather vague wording, isn't it? And possibly inaccurate, as I'm just selecting the ones in which I take any interest at all. I can remember very little about Larxene, after all, as it's been a while since I played Chain of Memories, but I have a vague sense that I thought she was sort of awesome when I was playing it, and apparently that's good enough for me. So I suppose I'm just rubbish at making polls.)

View Poll: Do I have enough Kingdom Hearts fans on my flist for this poll? Let's find out.

Apparently there is a fourteenth member in 358/2 Days or something? I am afraid she is not included here, in part because I am not familiar with her but mostly because the idea of a fourteenth member of an organisation named Organization XIII is just too silly for words. Where is your sense of numerical elegance, Square?

I really didn't understand the fandom obsession with Organization XIII for a long time; I was just thinking, 'yes, all right, Axel's sort of cool and Demyx is sort of adorable, but most of these characters barely appear. Why the mad profusions of love?'

And then I replayed Kingdom Hearts II and, lo and behold, found myself a little bit smitten with Luxord. HE HAS PERHAPS A DOZEN LINES, BUT THEY ARE A BEAUTIFUL DOZEN LINES. And I'd like to get more acquainted with him, now that the release of Days has introduced new canon, but between the cost and my course I cannot possibly justify buying a DS at this point.

Sigh.

(Am I breaking up the tide of entries about something few of you watch with an entry about a game even fewer of you play? I am not sure I am doing this 'not boring everyone senseless' thing correctly.)

That's What I'm Talking About.

2009-10-27T14:48:18Z

I am fairly certain that the guy who plays Jake in the Mentalist episode 'Carnelian, Inc.' also plays Charles Westmoreland in Prison Break. Lisbon's actress, of course, plays Veronica in Prison Break. Sadly, whilst I absolutely love Lisbon and Westmoreland, I'm not terribly interested in Jake or Veronica, so I am having trouble coming up with stupid Prison Break/The Mentalist crossovers based on their shared actors. They can't possibly not be crossed over! They share two actors! SURELY THERE IS SOME SORT OF RULE ABOUT THIS.

In 'Russet Potatoes', the scene in which Jane tried to bring Rigsby out of his trance at the playground was one of the most inexplicably sexual things I'd ever seen. (And I'm not entirely certain of what Rigsby says the second time Jane taps his thigh, but it sounds like, 'Dude, don't feel me up now.' Presumably Rigsby would happily be felt up were they not in front of Van Pelt.) I found myself desperately hoping that the hypnotic trigger would turn out to be a kiss. I thought it unlikely that I wouldn't have somehow heard about a Jane/Rigsby kiss earlier had one actually happened in the series, but I was still hoping.

That said, I was delightfully unaware that Rigsby and Van Pelt were actually going to kiss, so who knows? (That scene made me so happy! I love that Jane clearly knew exactly what he was going to make Rigsby do, and adsfhfdjafgdgfgh Rigsby and Van Pelt are far too cute.) Should Jane actually kiss any member of his team in future episodes (and, oh, how I do hope he kisses all of them), please don't tell me!

SPEAKING OF THINGS THAT ARE FAR TOO CUTE: the enthusiasm with which Jane suggests a picnic in 'Carnelian, Inc.'! 'We've got a note saying someone's going to be killed in the desert? The desert's beautiful this time of year! Let's all go and eat sandwiches! :D!' And Van Pelt is so excited by the prospect! AND THEN IT DOESN'T ACTUALLY HAPPEN AND I AM SAD. (But, as the_wanlorn has said, Jane almost certainly dragged them all out to have a proper picnic after the case was solved, so I am appeasing myself by imagining that. How are you all so adorable, CBI?)

I really like that Jane says 'Thank you' whenever anyone does something for him. People are generally not polite enough in television land! (Of course, there's probably a touch of calculation about it, making people feel that their helpfulness is recognised and so making them subconsciously more inclined to be helpful in the future, but it's still an aspect of his behaviour that I like very much.)

The 'Writer's Block' question on the front page is asking me with which fictional character I would most like to go on a date. Right now, I suppose my answer would have to be 'the entire CBI'. The only scenario I can really envision for that is 'I'm a murder suspect in California and they arrest me', though, which would be sort of a rubbish date. Perhaps just Jane, then, and we can go to a restaurant and he can show off by reading my body language, and then I can give him a much-needed hug, which of course will have been my secret motive for the date all along. (He'll have worked out my 'secret motive' two minutes into it, of course, but he won't say anything.)

The 'Ship Name Could Be Janeveryone. (Or, Er, Not.)

2009-10-26T06:32:52Z

'Scarlett Fever': oh, Jane asks whether killing the person responsible for the death of her daughter made her feel better, and it took me a moment to realise that of course he wasn't just saying 'it didn't improve things, did it?'; he genuinely wanted to know. JANE.

(Also he had a swordfight with a tiny child and it was adorable. AND HE TALKS TO HIS WIFE IN HIS MIND. I can piece my heart back together only so many times!)

Oh, my goodness, I love 'Bloodshot'. Blind Jane! Jane's fake-psychic past coming back to haunt him! Rigsby being wonderful! Blind Jane and handcuffed Van Pelt working together to drive a car! I realised at the end of the episode that I was wearing a stupid open-mouthed grin, which would probably have been embarrassing had I not been on my own.

Also, I love that Jane actually saw Van Pelt with her new boyfriend and then pretended he had deduced it from her body language. Hee.

I appear to be 'shipping Jane/Van Pelt more by the episode. They are so pretty and their relationship is so interesting!

The more I watch of The Mentalist, the more I actually want to write CBI ménage à cinq fanfiction, although goodness knows how I'd go about it.

I'm not sure it's really a ménage à cinq, actually; whilst I 'ship Jane/Lisbon and Jane/Van Pelt and Jane/Cho and Jane/Rigsby, the only non-Jane pairing I really 'ship at the moment is Van Pelt/Rigsby. So I suppose it'd be more 'Jane is in love with everyone' fanfiction than a true OT5. Not that there's anything wrong with taking a 'Jane is in love with everyone' perspective; I'm just thinking aloud.

And how would it work? Would the other characters know? Would only some of them know? Would Rigsby be vaguely aware that something's going on, Cho and Van Pelt able to pick up on Jane's behaviour towards them personally but unaware that it's a bit wider than that, and Lisbon astute enough to work out that Jane is actually totally in love with all of them? If all the characters know, are they all right with it (either Jane's love for them personally or specifically the fact that he is in love with everyone (I imagine Van Pelt and Rigsby, at least, would be slightly uncertain about the concept of polyamory))? Would actual sex be involved, or just love and adorability and Jane falling asleep with his feet on Cho's lap and his head on Van Pelt's?

I don't know. What I do know is that contemplating this is making me smile a ridiculous amount. Jane/everyone is the best pairing ever.

Finding A Full-Length Ruby Picture Is, Incidentally, Really Difficult.

2009-10-25T11:19:55Z

My goodness, I haven't posted a stupid manip for ages! Here, to rectify this, is a picture of Sam and Ruby with their Pokémon:

I get the impression that Sam's Espeon knows more than she's letting on. (In fact, I am generally finding the way in which their Pokémon are staring at us whilst Sam and Ruby have their backs turned really quite unnerving. I AM NOT SUPPOSED TO BE FREAKED OUT BY MY OWN PHOTOMANIPS.)

Yes, Dean disapproves of Sam spending time with Ruby, but, Sam argues, she has an Eevee evolution. She can't be all bad.

Dean and his Growlithe roll their eyes and go back to their training. (Man, why won't Dean's Growlithe evolve? He's been trying to get it to evolve for years. No, this is completely freaking not about Dad's Arcanine. Shut the hell up.)

As always, you are invited to make your own Pokémon or Supernatural-related photomanips and post them in the comments! (Extra points for giving Pokémon to the characters of The Mentalist.)

It Can't Be My Fault; I'm Just Sitting Here.

2009-10-24T14:57:08Z

Alona Tal is in the 'Crimson Casanova' episode of The Mentalist! Hi, Jo! And Patrick Jane thinks she's probably good in bed!

This means, of course, that my mind is now being assaulted by a terrible Supernatural crossover idea in which Patrick Jane is one of the 'special children' and the Yellow-Eyed Demon takes his wife and he discovers the world of hunting in his desperate efforts to find out what happened to her and makes his way to the Roadhouse and has sex with ~~Cho THAT WAS NOT WHAT I MEANT TO TYPE~~ Jo. I can't say I am too distressed by the concept.

(Speaking of Jane having sex with Cho, though: the 'I AM TAKING YOU SHOPPING FOR CLOTHES' scene was such a lovely Jane/Cho moment! I am quite sad that we did not get to see the actual shopping trip. And Cho was generally wonderful in this episode (he approaches talking to women as if it's an interrogation! hee!).)

I actually covered my mouth with my hands when it was revealed that Jane still wears his wedding ring. And then I went back to see whether it was in previous episodes, and it was, and my heart broke.

I generally spent the whole of this (rather delightful) episode overwhelmed with love for the entire team. I was sort of blinded by the amazing of Jane and Lisbon for the first few episodes, but by this point I have fallen hopelessly for Van Pelt and Rigsby and Cho and all the interactions within the team and Jane's massive polyamorous love for everyone.

I love it all. I love them all. I love the joy The Mentalist brings me.

I love having new fandoms.

Cooltrainer Van Pelt And A Cautionary Tale.

2009-10-22T15:48:44Z

I think 'Paint It Red' is my favourite episode of The Mentalist so far. Patrick Jane is such a dick! I do not know why this delights me so much, but it does. I kept going back to rewatch the scene in which he embarrasses Van Pelt and grinning massively. Sorry for laughing at your discomfort, Van Pelt; I like you enormously, but heeee. (I find myself 'shipping Jane/Van Pelt quite a bit more after that episode.)

Other things I love: the ending! Jane lying adorably on the sofa! His sheer audacity in the mob boss bit, and his massive ':D *thumbs up*' afterwards! The most unnecessary phone call ever!

(...and, hey, it turns out that this episode was written by the person who wrote 'Red Brick and Ivy'! All is forgiven, sir.)

I feel I have now watched enough of The Mentalist to begin tentatively assigning the characters Pokémon. (This is, of course, an essential step in the process of getting to know a set of characters.) Van Pelt has a Growlithe. Rigsby has a Vulpix. Cho has an undersized but fierce male Nidoran that stands on the desk and glares at suspects whilst Cho interrogates them. Lisbon has an Ivysaur; it's generally well-behaved, but Jane delights in trying to make it disobey her orders.

Jane himself is tricky. I considered Golduck, just because it can learn Psychic moves without actually being a Psychic type, but I don't think a Golduck really fits him. Perhaps a Persian or something with a similar air of smugness?

On the similarly important subject of Hogwarts houses: Van Pelt is a Gryffindor, Lisbon is a Ravenclaw, Rigsby is a Hufflepuff. Jane, much like Derren Brown, hovers on the border between Ravenclaw and Slytherin; he'd probably be sorted into Slytherin in the end. Cho I'm not sure about; perhaps another Gryffindor?

...oh, cock, I've just checked my online timetable and realised that my lecture was in fact now, as opposed to three o'clock (as it has been for the past two weeks).

What do you think my chances are of getting from London to Brighton in minus two minutes?

I am an idiot.

(The above was written at eleven o'clock; it is now half past four. Whilst my efforts to go back in time met with failure, I discovered on the train that a second group was attending the same lecture at two o'clock, so I went to that instead. It's a mini adventure!)

I Do Love You, Mentalist, But Sometimes You Snore.

2009-10-21T12:05:58Z

I wasn't a big fan of 'Red Brick and Ivy', largely because it was written by a man who seemed worried that we wouldn't realise when Patrick Jane was joking unless another character said 'lol you just made a joke'. The first time it happened I thought 'oh, please don't unnecessarily point out that that was a joke' before the man said, 'Ah, humour! Good!', so I suppose it must have happened in previous episodes, although I can't think of any specific examples (I think it may previously have taken the form of people saying 'you think you're so clever, don't you?', which is at least better than just saying 'AH, THIS IS AN EXAMPLE OF HUMOUR').

I promise you, Mentalist writers, Patrick Jane can stand on his own. If you feel the need to point out to the audience that he is clever and witty by having other characters comment on how clever and witty he is, you're probably not writing him as clever and witty enough. Most of the time this isn't a problem, and Patrick Jane is his wonderful self without requiring a flashing sign over his head telling us how wonderful he is, but that particular episode really frustrated me.

I did love the driving exchange between Lisbon and Jane at the end, though. Obviously Jane is Sam and Lisbon is Dean. Er, a Dean who disapproves of overly fast driving. Yes, all right, the parallel may not be exact. (Also, I want Lisbon and Jane to have incredibly filthy sex against a wall, whereas I think I'd just be a bit taken aback were that to happen with Sam and Dean.)

And then 'Red John's Friends' had the team showing enormous, beautiful loyalty to Jane, and I forgave everything. I love them.

Is there a single family in The Mentalist that could be described as 'functional'? About three quarters of the ones that have shown up so far have been blighted by adultery, and the members of the other quarter have generally been murdering each other. I sort of want the CBI to find themselves working with a completely happy family, just so I can watch Patrick Jane cry.

Wait, did I say that? I meant something much less cruel, of course. Just, er... for a change?

Sorry, Jane.

Sort of related to Patrick Jane crying: I'm about halfway through the first season (just watched 'Red Rum'), and I've realised that we haven't seen Jane at his home since the first episode. He's always working on a case, or with his team, or sleeping on the sofa in the office. Because, of course, he doesn't want to go home.

I'm a bit afraid that one day I'll meet Simon Baker on the street and go, 'Hi, um, I know you're not actually your character but you look a lot like him and he really needs a hug and I suppose hugging you would be the closest thing and - and - why are you running away?'

You Can't See It, But I'm Giving You Imploring Looks Through The Screen.

2009-10-20T18:25:52Z

I just stumbled across an exchange I had with amy_wolf (link contains spoilers for the whole of Life on Mars), in the comments of an entry I posted in March, discussing a Derren Brown/Life on Mars crossover in which Sam Tyler's time in 1973 was the result of a Derren-induced trance.

Life on Mars isn't a fandom for which I've ever really been able to write, but I am beginning to wish it were, because this concept is amazing.

Seriously, it could work so well! Sam Tyler is a contestant on Trick or Treat, and draws a 'Treat' card. Derren Brown, choosing, as he occasionally does, to interpret 'treat' in a slightly unusual way, puts Tyler into a trance and causes him to believe he has travelled back in time to 1973 in order to help him resolve his issues with his father.

Which, eventually, he does, so Derren tries to bring him back to the real world.

He can't. Tyler, without being conscious of it, has become attached to 1973 and is resisting all efforts to draw him out of it.

Derren (who can walk around in and interact with Tyler's hallucination, which clearly makes no sense but is awesome and therefore possible, shut up) takes the place of Frank Morgan in the second series as he tries to bring the unwilling-but-unaware-of-his-own-reluctance Tyler out of his trance. He is more genuinely concerned for Tyler's welfare than Morgan was, and also less creepy. (But still a bit creepy.)

As time goes on and his efforts fail, Derren becomes less and less composed. Eventually, almost frantic, he forcibly drags Tyler out of his hallucinatory world.

Here follow the events of the Life on Mars finale. (Er, the UK one. Not the US one. The US one would just be odd.)

Spoilers for that finale below; highlight to read:

Derren, of course, is completely consumed by guilt. ~~AND ENDS UP GOING TO SILENT HILL~~ no, wait, this is a serious fic. I mean, not that Silent Hill isn't serious, but I feel that adding in a third fandom and an entire 'journey through Silent Hill' plotline (with all the assless freak attacks that entails) onto the end of this tale of hypnotism gone horribly horribly wrong would perhaps be a bit much.

Ahem. Yes. Derren is consumed by guilt. All he wanted was to make good television and help a man realise the truth about his father! He didn't mean to kill anyone! Yes, perhaps he was a bit sadistic at times, but he never had any idea this would happen!

It would be quite a lot darker than I'm generally comfortable with when writing RPF, but this fic needs to exist.

In conclusion: this concept is awesome and I felt it needed to be shared. (Should you by any chance feel like writing the fic, incidentally, I am highly unlikely to prevent you.)

But How Would I Get Back Through The Screen?

2009-10-19T18:54:36Z

I really do have a tendency to overthink things. I was pondering the possibility of somehow bringing Patrick Jane into the real world just so I could give him a hug, because he really needs one (I was so sad when Van Pelt failed to hug him at the end of 'Seeing Red'. He's crying, Van Pelt! It's heartbreaking! Don't just close the door!), but then I started wondering whether it would be right to make a person with so much inner pain real, and whether discovering that his wife and child never truly existed would just make things worse for him, and seriously, imagination, all I wanted was a nice daydream in which I gave the poor man a hug. Must you ruin everything? I suppose I'll just have to confine my Jane-hugging plans to vague schemes of leaping through the screen into his world, then.

(I really hope I'm not the only person who worries excessively about wildly implausible scenarios. Last week I was panicking about being trapped in the world of Pride and Prejudice. What if Mr Bingley calls upon me to sing, as an accomplished young woman should be able to, and all I can think of is the Pokémon theme tune? It will be a disaster.)

Speaking of Jane's need for hugs: 'Seeing Red' broke my little heart. I actually made an embarrassing high-pitched keening noise after he said, 'Well, that would be very sad.' Oh, Jane.

The opening of 'The Thin Red Line' did help to take away the woe a little, though. Patrick Jane should always be holding an adorable baby. It would possibly be slightly impractical on occasion during his crime-fighting adventures, but it is nonetheless true.

Oh, dear, I sort of love Jane's creepy little 'I am living vicariously through your killing the people who killed your friend' smile. I shouldn't, but I do. And then he goes 'yeah, I still want to cut Red John up and eat him, LET US FROLIC ADORABLY IN THE RAIN' and it is simultaneously the cutest thing ever and really, really unnerving.

ALSO BOTH ADORABLE AND UNNERVING: Jane's messed-up hair and grin when he takes the mask off after terrifying a guy into thinking he's about to be burned alive. It was obviously a rather horrible thing to do, but he was so cute.

(I had a bit of a 'D: surely Jane doesn't think like that?' reaction when Jane said the guy deserved to suffer for what he did, but then he brought up Red John (WITH THAT CREEPY SMILE) and oh, yes, of course he thinks like that. Man, Jane, you are so damaged.)

On a note that is not 'omg Patrick Jane is the cutest psychopath ever': Cho wants to go back in time and have sex with his eighth-grade history teacher.

You're right, guys; he is awesome.

And this episode allowed me to exclaim 'WAY TO GO INTO A CONFINED WOODEN SPACE', which I rather enjoyed.

I think 'Patrick Jane is quietly and genuinely in love with every person on his team' is my favourite piece of personal Mentalist canon. Not that I've had enough time to develop much, but still. It is such a lovely and yet heartbreaking thought!

I Do Wish It Had An Overblown, Ridiculous Theme Song, Though.

2009-10-18T16:13:36Z

Up to the sixth episode of The Mentalist, 'Red-Handed'!

- PATRICK JANE EVEN HAS A MEMORY PALACE. I CANNOT BELIEVE HOW SHAMELESSLY DERREN BROWN HE IS. They may as well have paused the episode at his explanation of his card-memorisation technique and flashed up the message 'IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO KNOW JANE'S TECHNIQUE, PLEASE READ PART THREE OF DERREN BROWN'S TRICKS OF THE MIND'.

I am not complaining about the fact that Patrick Jane is obviously so heavily inspired by Derren Brown. I am complaining about the fact that The Mentalist is unlikely to tribute Derren for his influence by having him show up in an episode and then make out with Jane. Tsk.

- The way Jane pokes about a crime scene and crawls around and sniffs things is actually a bit reminiscent of Sherlock Holmes. Does that mean that Lisbon is Watson? In any case, Lisbon and Watson need to meet and be mutually exasperated by their overly-perceptive, rather eccentric partners.

- I like it when Jane gets hugs. I think it should happen more often. (I also think he should get punched in the face more often, but mostly I'm in favour of hugs.)

- Regarding 'Redwood': I am really perplexed by the fact that a tracker dog can apparently pick up on skin flakes shed by a person who was travelling inside a van. He really must be the best tracker dog in the state.

- I love the way Jane can be kind of a git one moment and then turn around and do something ridiculously lovely the next. I do have rather a fondness for characters who are a little bit maddening but immensely good-hearted. The ending of 'Red-Handed' had me exclaiming '♥!' at the screen.

- YES, I CAN EXCLAIM A HEART.

- Also in 'Red-Handed', I adore the scene in which Jane gives his entire team expensive presents from his blackjack winnings. Never before have I so quickly leapt from 'yes, all right, I suppose I 'ship a couple of pairings in this group' to having an OT5. Love!

Maybe he collects people around him and falls in love with all of them in an attempt to create a substitute family.

...my heart.

(Apologies to those of you uninterested in The Mentalist. Here is a picture of some kittens.)

Perhaps They Should Bring In An Actor Named Looney.

2009-10-17T18:16:50Z

Apparently, The Mentalist is directed by a man named David Nutter.

I just thought I'd mention it.

I like that nobody explicitly states how Jane used Van Pelt to find the car keys at the beginning of 'Red Tide', but a person familiar with the technique can tell. I felt smugly superior to an imaginary other viewer who didn't know, so the bonus for mentalists and readers of Derren Brown's writing was appreciated. (I also appreciated Jane and Van Pelt's sort-of dance whilst he was trying to establish where the keys were. Not 'shipping them yet (apart from the low level on which I appear to be 'shipping Patrick Jane with more or less everyone in the world), but they would be a really pretty couple. And he makes such a performance out of it! And he's so pleased with himself!)

Later in the episode, I assumed that Jane was staying behind at the beach for some undisclosed case-related reason, but pfft, no; he just wanted to make awesome sandcastles. Fair enough! (By 'fair enough' I may possibly mean 'asdagfgsfdfgh I love him'.)

Also, I really like how good Jane is with little kids.

...

...but now, having said that, I have realised why he is so good with little kids, and it sort of makes me want to cry. (NOTE OF CLARIFICATION FOR THOSE UNFAMILIAR WITH THE MENTALIST: Patrick Jane is not, as far as I know, a paedophile.)

You know what I would like to see? I would like to see Patrick Jane go head-to-head with Light Yagami. I think that would be fascinating.

I would also like him to meet Derren Brown, of course. After four episodes, I think I've developed the ability to separate Jane and Brown in my head, but I am immensely amused by the fact that the second, third and fourth episodes all use Derren Brown routines. Yes, all right, Derren Brown is a mentalist and the main character of The Mentalist is (surprise!) a mentalist, so some overlap was bound to occur, but still.

I've Got A Mobile Phone And I'm Not Afraid To Use It.

2009-10-17T10:14:58Z

I have watched the second episode of The Mentalist! Still using a computer with tremendous amounts of slowdown. Still enjoying it so immensely that I barely care.

Oh, I do love Patrick Jane. I love his 'THIS IS THE BEST PLAN TO CATCH A MURDERER EVER :D :D :D' face. I love how overly free he is when looking around places for the investigation, lying down on the victim's bed and making himself tea. I love it when he totally knows who the killer is but doesn't tell the team anything because he wants to extract a particularly dramatic confession. I love the inappropriate amount of fun he has with murder investigations.

Also, I am beginning to 'ship Jane/Lisbon. Maybe. A little. Patrick Jane's heterosexuality bewilders me somewhat, because he is still totally Derren Brown in every other respect (that rock-paper-scissors sequence was oddly familiar, although Jane's hypnosis technique is more 'JUST SAY "SLEEP" A LOT' than the 'as you listen to my voice...' leading of Brown's), but I can forgive him when he and Lisbon are being argumentative and flirtatious and totally cute.

(Hmmm, I seem to have got over the weirdness of calling Jane 'Jane' rather quickly.)

Van Pelt is awfully pretty, isn't she? For some reason, I'd thought Van Pelt was the guy who totally has a crush on actual Van Pelt, but I think I managed to work it out in the second episode. Although I still don't know Guy Who Is Not Van Pelt's name. (His crush on Van Pelt is pretty adorable, whatever he's called.)

Oh, I love the experience of falling for a new fandom. This is a slightly unusual case, admittedly, because the protagonist is essentially the central figure of one of my other fandoms and so it's more like falling for an epic AU fic than something entirely fresh and new, but I still love it. (Seriously: had someone posted the first two episodes of The Mentalist to derrenbrownfic (rewritten in prose form and with Patrick Jane's name changed to 'Derren Brown', obviously) as an AU, would I have had any complaints with the characterisation? I dare say I'd have had very few.)

People are still recommending that I watch Psych, and from what I've heard it sounds like what would result were Scrubs and The Mentalist to have a baby (although of course it came before The Mentalist). I can't say I'm not intrigued. I'm concentrating on The Mentalist at the moment, but I'll keep an eye out.

I Am Already Gleefully Exclaiming 'WAY TO GO, PATRICK' At The Screen.

2009-10-16T18:46:33Z

The general message I received from the comments to my earlier 'should I watch The Mentalist?' entry was 'NOOOOOOO RIONA WATCH PSYCH INSTEAD'.

Fair enough, I thought, but as I had access to the pilot of The Mentalist I'd give it a try. Just a couple of minutes. It would be unfeasible to watch more anyway, as for the moment the only computer to which I had access was the very old, very overloaded desktop, so the video quality would be irritatingly jerky.

Two minutes in, I entirely failed to hit 'stop'.

Ten minutes in, I paused, grabbed a notebook and wrote 'THIS IS ESSENTIALLY A SHOW ABOUT DERREN BROWN USING HIS ABILITIES TO SOLVE CRIMES UNDER THE SUPERVISION OF LISA CUDDY. I AM ALREADY IN LOVE.'

And then, of course, I watched the rest of the episode, ignoring the rubbishness of this computer.

I'm sorry, Psych fans. I've let you all down.

Thoughts!

- Patrick Jane is so clearly based on Derren Brown that I am amazed they're not paying him royalties. There's the mentalism, obviously, but then there's the arrogance, the suits, the disdain for genuine belief in the paranormal, the turning against his earlier life, the smirks, the delight in theatrics...

- Lisbon is probably not actually based on Lisa Cuddy, but I cannot stop thinking of her as 'Cuddy' anyway. I do not have a problem with this.

- Patrick's backstory made my heart hurt. (I actually feel oddly as if I should apologise to Patrick for calling him 'Patrick' so soon in our acquaintance, but I feel weird calling him 'Jane'. STOP HAVING A FIRST NAME FOR YOUR LAST NAME, JANE.) AND THE FINAL SCENE. OH.

- Actually, Patrick's backstory completely freaked me out, and it took me some consideration to realise that I was actually thinking of him as Derren Brown, and so horrible things of that magnitude happening to him make me recoil for the same reason that I have trouble reading real-person fiction in which anything too awful happens. I had to help myself handle it by reminding myself firmly that Derren Brown was unlikely ever to have a wife.

- I was going to say that I love Patrick's smugness and arrogance, and then I thought 'wait, they already know that', and then I realised that I was thinking of Derren Brown.

This is going to be so confusing.

Er. Hmm. Now I'm trying to think of something I like about Patrick Jane that you won't already have guessed from my ramblings about Derren Brown.

I love his smile! There we go. That's something they don't share, because Patrick Jane is not, in fact, played by Derren Brown. (Although I bet the writers wish he were.)

- ...that said, when I play scenes from the episode back in my head, Patrick Jane is played not by Derren Brown but by Robert Downey Jr.

I have no idea why.

Dr Bunansa, His Father, Was A Strange Man, With Little Sense Of Propriety.

2009-10-16T13:48:14Z

MAKE MY DECISIONS FOR ME, FLIST: should I be watching The Mentalist? From the admittedly little I have heard of it, it sounds as if it is about the crime-solving adventures of a complete Derren Brown ripoff, and, y'know, I'm in favour of that. Also, it features the actress of Veronica from Prison Break, so ridiculous crossovers are built right in, and I am feeling extremely ready to embrace a new fandom right now. On the other hand, I don't think many of you watch it (do any of you watch it?), and if I love it and post fifty million entries about it and nobody cares I shall be sad.

I'm probably going to end up watching at least a couple of episodes. I can cut out a picture of Derren Brown's face, hold it in front of this Patrick Jane fellow's head and pretend I'm watching a detective AU. It is certainly a tempting prospect. (Also, if Patrick Jane really is as similar to Derren Brown as he sounds, Derren/himself fanfiction will suddenly become so easy.)

In what is perhaps evidence for my need of a new fandom, I can think of nothing to say to make this entry more interesting. Hmmm. Can I really post an entry that says 'should I watch this?' and nothing but?

Oh! A few weeks ago, when I was reading Jane Austen's Northanger Abbey, I found myself taking rather a liking to Henry Tilney. It took me some time to realise that this was largely because he inexplicably reminded me of Balthier of Final Fantasy XII.

Please take the time to imagine Balthier Bunansa as the romantic lead of a Jane Austen novel. It would be amazing.

I'm not sure Fran would be the heroine, sadly; whilst I can envision Balthier in an Austen novel, I am having difficulty believing that Austen would write an interspecies romance, and my brain shies away from the idea of Fran in a ballgown. Perhaps Ashe? An Ashe-and-Balthier romance, with less swordfighting and mortal peril and more balls and issues of social rank? I can see it.

Actually, I think Penelo seems the most likely Final Fantasy XII female to be the heroine of a Jane Austen novel. I don't really 'ship Balthier/Penelo in the game (they don't interact much, do they? The only scene I can think of off the top of my head is the one in which he gives her his handkerchief), but I am sure I would be fully prepared to support it in Quickness and Quickenings.

(And now, of course, I find myself unable to resist comparing Squall and Rinoa's relationship to that of Elizabeth and Darcy. Oh, dear.)

Abandoned Fanfiction: Supernatural 'Pushing Daisies' AU.

2009-10-12T16:08:46Z

Like most fanfiction writers, I imagine, I've started quite a few stories that I've never finished. Most of them never get past a few snippets. It's a shame and a waste, but it happens.

Looking through my unfinished fanfiction, however, I've just stumbled across this. It is, essentially, a Supernatural AU inspired by Pushing Daisies, in which Dean Winchester gains Ned's ability to wake the dead by touching them. It's almost a year old, so I doubt I'm ever going to finish it, but it is unusual amongst my abandoned fics in having about 2,500 words of continuous prose, as opposed to comprising only disconnected snippets.

Some of you may already have seen this, as I originally wrote it in the comments to one of futuresoon's entries, but I thought I would post it here, as I quite like what I had. I won't be posting it to any communities, as, well, it's not finished (it fairly obviously doesn't explore the full possibilities of the concept) and I'm unlikely to continue it, but I hope you enjoy it if you read.

It starts during Dean's conversation with the Crossroads Demon all the way back in 'All Hell Breaks Loose Part Two', and it's not rated more than PG-13.

"You can give me ten years," he says, "and then – "

"Ten years?" she asks, with a laugh. "You think so?"

Dean stares. "What?"

She walks slowly towards him, smirking a little. "How do you think this works, Dean? Someone comes up to me with an offer, I have to accept it? This is a business, and I'm pretty sure I can see a bargain coming my way."

Dean grits his teeth. "Nine years."

"Knowing you and your brother, I can probably get you down to a week."

She's probably right, Dean knows, and he hates himself for it. "Seven."

"I don't want your soul," she says, rolling her eyes.

Everything stops. "What? No. No, okay, there's got to be something..."

She says nothing; just watches him, still with that little smirk.

"I swear," he says, "I swear I'm going to kill you."

"Temper, Dean," she says.

Dean can feel his eyes burning. He bites down on his tongue, hard. Begging a demon is humiliating enough; he's not going to cry in front of her.

"Please," he says. "He's my brother."

"Ah," she says, "appealing to my human compassion. Nice strategy."

"There's got to be something I can give you."

"Like I said, I don't want your soul." She's still smiling. "I've got an idea that's way more fun."

-
The facts are these:

Dean can have the power to bring anyone back from the dead, she tells him. Anyone at all, with one touch of his skin to theirs. "Pity you burned Daddy, right?" she asks slyly, and Dean thinks of Sam and doesn't let himself attack her.

Of course, just giving Dean what he wants is no fun, so there are rules. He touches someone once, they come back to life; he touches them again, even the slightest brush of hands, and they drop dead in an instant. "And you can ride the corpse all night if you want," she says, in as casual a tone as if they were discussing last night's television; "it's not working a second time."

And then there's the other rule. The 'if he keeps someone alive for more than sixty seconds, someone else in the vicinity dies' thing.

"You're saying I have to sacrifice someone else to save my brother?" Dean asks.

She shrugs. "That's what you were planning to do anyway, right?"

"I was offering you me. That's different."

"I guess it's your decision, then," she says. "Sam, or the unlucky person walking by."

Dean looks at her. She looks calmly back at him, her arms folded. Waiting.

-
"Fun's beginning sooner than you think, by the way, Deano," she says, when he breaks off the kiss. "This girl was a corpse when I moved in. You remember that side-effect I told you about?" She nods down one of the roads. "You're about to experience it firsthand. Well, not you, but..."

Dean's confused for a moment, but then it clicks. He lunges at the demon. She steps back, laughing; he stumbles, and when he's righted himself she's gone.

He stands there for a moment, just breathing.

He doesn't want to go down the road she nodded to. He really, really doesn't.

He goes down it anyway.

A little distance along, there's a young man, sandy-haired, lying face-down at the side of the road. Dean presses his hands over his face and breathes deeply.

He didn't know. He didn't mean to – fuck, if he'd known...

The sound of a car in the distance reminds him that he should probably get the body away from the road. He crouches down, and as he touches it there's a jolt, a kind of spark, and the young man stirs and lets out a groan.

Dean freezes. Shit. He'd forgotten. How could he have forgotten?

"God, what happened?" the man mutters, rolling onto his back.

Dean, reaching out, hesitates.

"Who are you?" the man asks.

"Dean Winchester," Dean says. "Uh. What's your name?"

"Tom," he says, easing himself up onto his elbows and looking around. "Do you know what happened to me?"

"I'm sorry, Tom," Dean says. He can't meet his eyes. "I am so, so sorry."

Tom frowns. "Why?" he asks, and that's when Dean kills him again.

-
Bobby is sitting with Sam when Dean gets back to the room. Dean's first thought is that there's no way he can revive Sam where Bobby can see it. His second thought is of what could happen to Bobby if he revived Sam now, and it kind of makes him want to throw up.

Bobby looks cautiously up at him.

"Hey," Dean says, trying not to look at Sam. "Uh. Found anything?"

Bobby, obviously relieved that Dean is finally showing interest in the job again, starts on an explanation of the recent demonic omens. Dean's only half-listening, but he catches the important part: they need to go to Wyoming.

"Okay, great," he says. 'Great' probably isn't the right word, he realises as he's saying it, but he guesses Bobby's not about to blame him for being distracted right now. "Uh, how about you go ahead and I meet you there?"

Bobby frowns. His eyes flick for a moment toward Sam. "I think it'd make more sense for us both to go together."

"I know," Dean says, rubbing a hand over his face. "It's just... I have to bury Sam."

There's a short silence. Bobby is looking at him with sympathy, but there's a hint of relief there, too, and Dean doesn't miss it.

"I can stay," Bobby says.

Dean shakes his head. "We don't know how long we've got. Someone needs to be there."

Bobby hesitates for a moment, then he stands. He rests his hand on Sam's shoulder and looks at Dean. "Tell him goodbye from me," he says.

Dean nods. He doesn't have to fake the tears that are trying to escape.

He sits perfectly still for more than an hour after the noise of Bobby's truck has faded into the distance, just to be sure.

-
Dean doesn't bother asking himself any moral questions about what he's doing, about the price, because he already knows what the answers will be. He swears to himself that he is never going to let himself find out about any deaths in this area on this day, and then he touches Sam.

The second Sam shifts and raises a hand to his face, Dean, his heart leaping like he's the heroine of some crappy romance novel, backs away into the corner of the room.

"Oh, man," Sam mutters, after a few seconds. His voice is a little hoarse. "I can't... ow."

"Sammy?" Dean asks. He can hardly believe this is real.

"Dean?"

Suddenly, all Dean wants to do is hug his huge, stupid little brother, and he knows that that's something he'll never be able to do again. He's never been that big on touching, but now that he actually can't touch Sam it suddenly seems like the most important thing in the world, like it's the only way to know Sam's really here, like maybe this is just a hologram and the crossroads demon lied to him so he'd never figure it out.

Sam rolls over on the bed to see him. He laughs. "What're you doing all the way over there?"

"Doesn't matter. How're you feeling?"

Sam frowns. "Uh, been better. My back kind of hurts."

Dean's instinct is to go and check his brother's back, but the moment he begins to move he remembers that he can't touch him. He stops. "Hey, uh, lift up your shirt and I'll take a look."

Sam gives him a slightly puzzled look, but he unbuttons his shirt, shrugs it off and turns so his back faces Dean.

The knife wound is still there, deep and dark and gaping.

Dean swallows. "It looks fine to me," he says.

Sam looks back at him over his shoulder, smiling a little. "Don't you need to be closer?"

Sixty seconds have passed. Dean hadn't even realised he was counting them in his head. "Nah, I can see it from here. You're fine."

Sam looks at him for a moment longer, then shrugs and reaches for his shirt. He frowns at the rips, the mud, the bloodstains on it. "Uh, I think I need to change."

Dean doesn't know whether it's safe to pass Sam a shirt – what if some of his skin flakes get onto it or something? How far does this thing go? – so he just nods toward Sam's bag, which he brought into the room without thinking when it looked like Sam was never going to need it again. Sam pulls it up onto the bed, takes out a shirt that looks pretty much identical to the one he was wearing before and pulls it on.

"What happened?" Sam asks when he's finished doing up the buttons, absently scratching his arm. Dean watches every little movement he makes, remembering how not long ago he thought he might never see any of them again.

"What do you remember?"

Sam massages his forehead. "Uh, pain. And... you were holding me, I think. I think Jake did something to me."

"He stabbed you," Dean says, not quite managing to keep his voice steady. "Thought for a moment you wouldn't pull through, but me and Bobby managed to patch you up." He grins, and it's like that action reminds him that he doesn't have to pretend, that he really does have something to smile about. Sam's here. "'Cause we're awesome."

Sam snorts. "Yeah, well, thanks." He pushes himself off the bed and stands, a little unsteady on his feet, frowning at nothing in particular. "...Jake. What happened to him?"

"He ran off," Dean says, focusing on Sam, ready to move away if he moves closer.

"We need to find him," Sam says. "The demon said..." and he trails off, looking confused.

She lied, Dean's mind whispers, she lied, he's going to drop dead any second now, how the hell can someone live with their spine cut through? "Are you okay? I mean, are you feeling okay? Do you need to rest?"

"I'm fine," Sam says. "It's just... how can we both be alive?"

Dean forces a laugh. "Yeah, I know. All the crap we get into, I can't really believe it either."

"I mean me and Jake," Sam says. "The demon said only one of us was going to get out alive."

There is a brief silence.

"Maybe he thought you were already gone," Dean says, with an uneasy shrug. "I mean, I guess I thought – you know, for a moment..."

"What if the demon comes back for me?" Sam asks.

"Sam," Dean says. "Can't you just... not worry? For, like, a second?"

"We have to worry, Dean," Sam says, staring at him. "We don't know what his plans are, we don't know what Jake – "

But Dean barely hears what he's saying; all he's aware of is the fact that Sam is moving toward him. He backs away, knocking over a lamp, and Sam frowns. "Dude, what the hell are you doing?"

"You can't touch me," Dean says, slipping into the next room and moving to put the table between him and Sam.

Sam laughs. "Okay, the 'no chickflick moments' thing was bad enough, but – "

"I'm not kidding," Dean says. "You cannot touch me. At all."

It takes about a quarter of a second for Sam to go from 'amused' to 'worried'. "Seriously, are you feeling all right?"

Somehow, in Dean's mind, this all worked out perfectly and Sam never had to know what he did. He should have figured that the whole no-touching thing would probably require some kind of explanation.

"Dean – " Sam begins, taking a step toward him.

"If you touch me," Dean says, "you'll die."

Sam stares at him. "I – Dean, what – "

There's no good way of opening this conversation, so Dean goes for the incredibly bad one. "So, there's a crossroads a few miles from here."

"You made a deal?" Sam asks, incredulous and horrified. "Why would you – " and then he realises, his eyes widening. "Dean, did I die?"

So that's one of the things Dean really didn't want Sam to know about down. With any luck, they'll be able to get through this without him finding out about the others.

"You're so stupid," Sam mutters, looking away. "I can't believe... how long?"

"It's not like that," Dean says, quickly. "I've still got my soul."

Sam looks back at him. He's not crying, but Dean can see the strange too-bright gleam of his eyes in the dim light.

"What, you don't believe me?"

"I don't know," Sam says. "I just – how else can I still be here?"

"The demon didn't want my soul. She said she'd bring you back, but if I ever touched you you'd die again."

Sam frowns. "Why would she do that?"

And that doubt frustrates Dean, because he's not lying, okay. Maybe he's not telling Sam everything, but he's not lying. "I don't know, crazy demon sense of humour or something. Does it matter?"

Sam is still looking dubious. "You really don't have a clock counting you down?"

"I swear, Sammy."

There is a silence.

"So," Sam says. "I died."

Dean rolls his eyes to hide his wince. "Okay, we've already gone over this part. You don't have to keep saying it. I can promise you I'm not forgetting any time soon."

"And you went to talk to a crossroads demon."

"Look," Dean says, feeling very tired, "can't we just be happy about this? We're both alive. We're okay. No hellhounds coming to take me away, nothing. We've just got to be careful."

Sam smiles a little, hesitantly, as if he doesn't really know which expression to use and he's guessing. "You can't touch me at all?"

"I don't know how it works," Dean says. "All I know is I'm not doing anything to risk losing you."

Sam nods. So, his look asks, what now?

It's a question Dean hasn't been allowing himself to think about. He knows that this is where he and Sam should separate. Sam's not safe with him. They should head in opposite directions, killing things alone, or maybe Sam will go back to school or marry or something, and maybe every year they'll have an awkward family reunion where they stand at opposite sides of a room and try not to get too close to each other. Dean is the most dangerous thing in Sam's world right now, and he needs to let his brother go.

He can't do it. He's not that strong.

"I guess we go and stop that sonofabitch demon," he says.

My Love's Gone And Burned Up All The Oxygen In The Room. (Thermodynamics!)

2009-10-10T18:26:33Z

Last night, I dreamt that Arthur was being forced to kill Merlin. They were at a crossroads in the moonlight, Arthur holding a glass dagger, Merlin kneeling in front of him. Merlin wasn't restrained; he was willing to be killed by Arthur (possibly Arthur would have been the one to die otherwise?).

Mr Darcy saved them at the last second.

This was not, sadly, what happened in episode 2.04 of Merlin.

Here are my thoughts on what happened instead.

Oh, my goodness, I actually got a bit teary at that episode. Lancelot! So tragic and so noble and so good! I think I now 'ship Lancelot/Gwen quite a lot more than I do Arthur/Gwen, which is slightly unfortunate. Possibly because I wasn't entirely convinced by Arthur's 'I think about her all the time', whilst I could absolutely believe everything Lancelot said. (Although I cannot quite explain why! I was going to say 'come on, Arthur, you've had barely over an episode's worth of relationship development', and then I remembered that Lancelot/Gwen has had, er, even less than that. WHATEVER. LANCELOT/GWEN IS AMAZING.)

In any case, I absolutely loved that episode. Gwen was gorgeous! Merlin and Arthur were bickering! Lancelot broke my heart into seven pieces! Gwen and Morgana were in love!

Seriously, I was 'shipping Gwen/Morgana so much in this episode. I am 'shipping it on at least a low level in every episode, but in this one I was just thinking 'I LOVE THEM ♥ ♥ ♥' constantly.

...well, I was thinking that until Lancelot showed up, at which point my 'I LOVE THEM ♥ ♥ ♥' shifted to Lancelot/Gwen. I'm so fickle. But then Lancelot left (my emoticon-use is rare, but at this point I feel a ;_; is necessary), and Gwen and Morgana were reunited, and I was right back to loving Gwen/Morgana (with a little part of my soul crying noooooooo lancelot. If you can't have Gwen, Lancelot, you can have me). I think I may actually have been 'shipping them more than I was Merlin and Arthur.

That said, I was delighted that there was so much Merlin-and-Arthur interaction in this episode! They are so much fun together. Was I imagining things, or did Merlin look a bit crushed when Arthur said Gwen meant more to him than did any other person? (And his 'cheer up, you've still got me' at the end made me grin quite a lot.)

EDIT: I forgot to mention: I nearly gasped when the men brought Gwen into the cage. I think I was almost as surprised by the fact that Merlin of all things had managed to surprise me as I was by the event itself.

Also, just prior to that, I was terrified that the writers might actually kill Lancelot off as a way of removing him as a romantic obstacle. THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN SO AWFUL. But Lancelot lives! Although, to my sorrow, not at Camelot.

If you're not interested in Merlin, or even if you are: here is a YouTube link to 'Baba Yetu', a rather beautiful song from the computer game Civilization IV. I cannot believe so much effort has gone into a song for a menu screen. Enjoy!

I Should Probably Try To Find A Plastic Sword.

2009-10-07T10:02:37Z

Riona: This is a long shot, but do you by any chance have any brown waistcoats, suitable for an eighteenth-century blacksmith or rather classy pirate?
Shop Assistant: I very much doubt it.

What I learnt from my enquiries in ten or eleven clothes shops yesterday: it is extremely difficult to find waistcoats in Brighton, and even more difficult to find a suitably piratey one. Eventually, I had to settle for one that was slightly too modern and not as brown as I would have liked. My Will Turner outfit is going to be a bit rubbish. Sorry, th_esaurus. But I love my new waistcoat and, as my real-life acquaintances will know, I rarely purchase new clothes, so I'm actually rather pleased.

I didn't post about Merlin, did I? I enjoyed it! It managed to interest me in Merlin/Morgana, which was the only pairing within the Arthur-Merlin-Gwen-Morgana group that hadn't really appealed to me before. And it was nice to have a Morgana-centric episode after the sad lack of the previous two.

(Spoilers for the episode (2.03); highlight to read:

I do wish Merlin had told Morgana about his magic, though. If anyone would understand the need to keep it secret, Merlin, she would! And she clearly needed someone to relate to! I JUST REALLY REALLY WANT SOMEONE OTHER THAN GAIUS TO FIND OUT WHAT MERLIN IS. IS THAT SO WRONG? Gaius is wonderful, of course, but I just think things would become so interesting if Morgana or Gwen or anyone other than the single-episode villains and assless freaks found out as well. And, of course, I am looking forward enormously to the day when Arthur discovers Merlin's secret.

)

I have also rewatched some first-series episodes of Merlin, and I have three things to say:

- Merlin really isn't a fan of subtlety or suspense, is it? If someone arriving at Camelot is evil (and they always are), you will see a little bit before the opening telling you 'BY THE WAY, THIS PERSON IS EVIL'. Of course, by now we've realised that no newcomer to Camelot is ever good (Lancelot excepted), so Merlin won't be able to surprise us even if it stops going 'HEY, THIS GUY IS ABOUT TO ARRIVE AT CAMELOT, BUT FIRST LET'S WATCH HIM KILL THIS OTHER GUY.'

- In the episode 'The Gates of Avalon', Sophia is Derren Brown. YOU'LL NEVER SEE HER KISSING ARTHUR IN THE SAME WAY.

- I want Anthony Stewart Head/Bradley James fanfiction and I don't know why.

Derren Brown recently Tweeted that he had dinner with Dan Radcliffe. I am taking this as evidence for the theory that he is, in fact, Albus Dumbledore. Also, here:

Just spent 5 mins looking for my slippers to find I was wearing them. Don't tell anyone, it doesn't fit the brand at any level.

He is so cute! So evil and yet so cute! It is ridiculous! (This mental lapse from the man who memorises the layout of London in his spare time.)

(EDIT: AND NOW HE HAS COMMENTED ON HIS ROULETTE FAILURE IN THE VOICE OF STEWIE GRIFFIN FROM FAMILY GUY. DORK. DOOOOOOORK.)

[INSERT SOME SORT OF SEGUE IN A VAIN ATTEMPT TO MAKE THIS ENTRY SEEM LESS DISJOINTED HERE], something I scribbled down in my notebook just before going to sleep:

In the Avatarverse, Derren Brown is the son of a female Waterbender from the North Pole and a male non-bender from the Earth Kingdom, so he was born and raised in the Earth Kingdom despite being a Waterbender himself. Due to the sexism of the Northern Water Tribe, his mother could teach him only how to heal, not knowing any offensive Waterbending, but Derren became fascinated by the possibilities of bending and began to experiment on his own. He discovered not only Bloodbending, allowing him to manipulate people physically, but how to manipulate people mentally (perhaps by somehow influencing the mood-altering chemicals in their bodies?). Yes, it's possible to force people to obey you with Bloodbending, but it is somehow so much more satisfying when you make them want to do it.

Have I been thinking too much about this? It is quite possible.