I am very nearly caught up on The Mentalist!

At the beginning of 'Red Scare', I found myself wondering whether I had accidentally put on a Supernatural episode. I spent the rest of the episode half-expecting the Winchesters to show up and was mildly disappointed when they didn't.

(The Winchesters investigate a case! The CBI are already investigating it! Cho interrogates Sam! Dean becomes convinced that this guy with a girl's name is actually psychic and they need to take him out! (They don't actually take him out, though. That would make the concept much less delightful. (Maybe Sam takes him out to dinner.)))

Van Pelt and Rigsby were adorable enough to make up for the lack of Winchesters, though. I love them. Also, the part where Jane was leaning casually against a ledge and drinking tea and basically looked like he was having the most civilised phonesex ever with Cho was bizarrely and enormously hot.


Over the weekend, I made the following rather perplexing slipup when talking to my housemate:

Riona: Would you like some drugs? ...no, not drugs. Water.

It was late and I was sleepy, but that doesn't really make it much less confusing.

(Between that and my starting a story with 'A friend of mine was once strangling me - not for erotic reasons...' in the middle of a discussion about autoerotic asphyxiation, I think my housemate may be slightly afraid of me.)

Today, I rushed from London to Brighton for a seminar that, I discovered upon arrival, had been cancelled.

Mildly put out, I returned to my Brighton abode, where I found a large and intriguing-looking package waiting for me. The details on the back informed me that the sender was a Vayne Aurelius, who, I discovered after a quick Googling, is the protagonist of a game called Mana Khemia: Alchemists of Al-Revis.

This was perplexing.

I opened the package to find a copy of The Thackery T. Lambshead Pocket Guide to Eccentric & Discredited Diseases, the editors of which, according to the blurb, 'received their medical degrees in a dream', and a rather charming and apologetic note from Mr Aurelius, written on the back of a 'Combat Basics 1' exercise sheet ('What to do if you encounter an extraterrestial:'), in which he explained that someone had wished that he send me the book and expressed his hope that I didn't mind receiving it. Inside the book was an empty envelope, on which was written 'To my dear Wainwright, with affectionate regards, Lady Cloudesley'.

I am deeply, deeply confused, and I have absolutely no idea who is responsible, but thank you so much! (I love the level of detail that's gone into this.)


I'm not participating in National Novel Writing Month this year, but I've decided that I'm going to try to at least write something every day during the month of November, whether it's a snippet or a full fic or part of a work in progress. Yesterday, I wrote a tiny clip of Jane and Cho snogging in the interrogation room; today, I am calling upon you to help me.


Give me a prompt, and I'll write you a ficsnippet. Multiple requests are more than welcome!


Feel free to request from anything you know I know! (Requesting from things you don't know I know is acceptable, but in that case it would probably be an idea to include a request or two from something you know I know as well, so you don't end up with 'BARNEY WAS A PERSON (PROBABLY). HE WAS PLAYED BY NEIL PATRICK HARRIS (I THINK, BUT I THINK EVERYONE'S PLAYED BY NEIL PATRICK HARRIS, SO I CAN'T BE SURE). HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER IS A SITCOM, SO AMUSING THINGS PROBABLY HAPPENED. THE END.') Crossovers and the like are, of course, fine.

(I'd be delighted if you made Mentalist requests, but please bear in mind that I'm only just starting to write these characters, so I'm still trying to get to grips with them. I've seen up to the first-season finale.)

Make as many requests as you'd like (and please don't feel you have to know me well to request a snippet); as I've said, I'm going to be trying to write every day, so any prompts would be gratefully received. Thank you!

Xemnas isn't terribly popular, is he? I did think that was rather a failing of Kingdom Hearts II: the most important enemy is one of the least interesting. Luxord is well-spoken and smirky; Demyx is an adorkable coward; Xemnas just stands on a castle and goes 'BLARGH HEARTS'.

(Er, sorry, twicetheheart31 and mad_lemming_89.)


( On weird Supernatural threesomes. Spoilers for the fourth-season finale. )


More of The Mentalist! The opening of 'Red Sauce' was probably the fastest I've ever gone from 'starting episode' to 'DELIGHTED SQUEAKING'. The team celebrate birthdays together! They have cake! They give each other presents! Jane guesses what the presents are! I am overwhelmed by adorability.

And then there was Unexpected Fredric Lehne! Sadly, his character was nothing like the Yellow-Eyed Demon. MAN, ACTORS, STOP PLAYING CHARACTERS WITH DIFFERENT PERSONALITIES. YOU'RE SO INCONSIDERATE. (Perhaps Azazel was possessing someone else for the duration of this episode? But whom?)

At the end: 'Meh; you're just trying to find fault.' Just trying to find fault! When she suggests that perhaps driving a mob boss up the wall isn't a good idea! Patrick Jane, you nutcase. (Jane was generally wonderfully mad in this episode. Hypnotising and hugging and taking far too much pleasure in annoying people all over the place! Being adorable clueless about golf ('could you hand me one of those sticks?')! His eventual extracting-a-confession method made me a bit uncomfortable - it just seemed a little too cruel - but then he shamelessly ogled Rigsby and I was right back to adoring him.)

My goodness, I haven't posted a stupid manip for ages! Here, to rectify this, is a picture of Sam and Ruby with their Pokémon:




I get the impression that Sam's Espeon knows more than she's letting on. (In fact, I am generally finding the way in which their Pokémon are staring at us whilst Sam and Ruby have their backs turned really quite unnerving. I AM NOT SUPPOSED TO BE FREAKED OUT BY MY OWN PHOTOMANIPS.)

Yes, Dean disapproves of Sam spending time with Ruby, but, Sam argues, she has an Eevee evolution. She can't be all bad.

Dean and his Growlithe roll their eyes and go back to their training. (Man, why won't Dean's Growlithe evolve? He's been trying to get it to evolve for years. No, this is completely freaking not about Dad's Arcanine. Shut the hell up.)


As always, you are invited to make your own Pokémon or Supernatural-related photomanips and post them in the comments! (Extra points for giving Pokémon to the characters of The Mentalist.)

Alona Tal is in the 'Crimson Casanova' episode of The Mentalist! Hi, Jo! And Patrick Jane thinks she's probably good in bed!

This means, of course, that my mind is now being assaulted by a terrible Supernatural crossover idea in which Patrick Jane is one of the 'special children' and the Yellow-Eyed Demon takes his wife and he discovers the world of hunting in his desperate efforts to find out what happened to her and makes his way to the Roadhouse and has sex with Cho THAT WAS NOT WHAT I MEANT TO TYPE Jo. I can't say I am too distressed by the concept.

(Speaking of Jane having sex with Cho, though: the 'I AM TAKING YOU SHOPPING FOR CLOTHES' scene was such a lovely Jane/Cho moment! I am quite sad that we did not get to see the actual shopping trip. And Cho was generally wonderful in this episode (he approaches talking to women as if it's an interrogation! hee!).)

I actually covered my mouth with my hands when it was revealed that Jane still wears his wedding ring. And then I went back to see whether it was in previous episodes, and it was, and my heart broke.


I generally spent the whole of this (rather delightful) episode overwhelmed with love for the entire team. I was sort of blinded by the amazing of Jane and Lisbon for the first few episodes, but by this point I have fallen hopelessly for Van Pelt and Rigsby and Cho and all the interactions within the team and Jane's massive polyamorous love for everyone.

I love it all. I love them all. I love the joy The Mentalist brings me.

I love having new fandoms.

I wasn't a big fan of 'Red Brick and Ivy', largely because it was written by a man who seemed worried that we wouldn't realise when Patrick Jane was joking unless another character said 'lol you just made a joke'. The first time it happened I thought 'oh, please don't unnecessarily point out that that was a joke' before the man said, 'Ah, humour! Good!', so I suppose it must have happened in previous episodes, although I can't think of any specific examples (I think it may previously have taken the form of people saying 'you think you're so clever, don't you?', which is at least better than just saying 'AH, THIS IS AN EXAMPLE OF HUMOUR').

I promise you, Mentalist writers, Patrick Jane can stand on his own. If you feel the need to point out to the audience that he is clever and witty by having other characters comment on how clever and witty he is, you're probably not writing him as clever and witty enough. Most of the time this isn't a problem, and Patrick Jane is his wonderful self without requiring a flashing sign over his head telling us how wonderful he is, but that particular episode really frustrated me.

I did love the driving exchange between Lisbon and Jane at the end, though. Obviously Jane is Sam and Lisbon is Dean. Er, a Dean who disapproves of overly fast driving. Yes, all right, the parallel may not be exact. (Also, I want Lisbon and Jane to have incredibly filthy sex against a wall, whereas I think I'd just be a bit taken aback were that to happen with Sam and Dean.)

And then 'Red John's Friends' had the team showing enormous, beautiful loyalty to Jane, and I forgave everything. I love them.


Is there a single family in The Mentalist that could be described as 'functional'? About three quarters of the ones that have shown up so far have been blighted by adultery, and the members of the other quarter have generally been murdering each other. I sort of want the CBI to find themselves working with a completely happy family, just so I can watch Patrick Jane cry.

Wait, did I say that? I meant something much less cruel, of course. Just, er... for a change?

Sorry, Jane.


Sort of related to Patrick Jane crying: I'm about halfway through the first season (just watched 'Red Rum'), and I've realised that we haven't seen Jane at his home since the first episode. He's always working on a case, or with his team, or sleeping on the sofa in the office. Because, of course, he doesn't want to go home.

I'm a bit afraid that one day I'll meet Simon Baker on the street and go, 'Hi, um, I know you're not actually your character but you look a lot like him and he really needs a hug and I suppose hugging you would be the closest thing and - and - why are you running away?'

Like most fanfiction writers, I imagine, I've started quite a few stories that I've never finished. Most of them never get past a few snippets. It's a shame and a waste, but it happens.

Looking through my unfinished fanfiction, however, I've just stumbled across this. It is, essentially, a Supernatural AU inspired by Pushing Daisies, in which Dean Winchester gains Ned's ability to wake the dead by touching them. It's almost a year old, so I doubt I'm ever going to finish it, but it is unusual amongst my abandoned fics in having about 2,500 words of continuous prose, as opposed to comprising only disconnected snippets.

Some of you may already have seen this, as I originally wrote it in the comments to one of futuresoon's entries, but I thought I would post it here, as I quite like what I had. I won't be posting it to any communities, as, well, it's not finished (it fairly obviously doesn't explore the full possibilities of the concept) and I'm unlikely to continue it, but I hope you enjoy it if you read.

It starts during Dean's conversation with the Crossroads Demon all the way back in 'All Hell Breaks Loose Part Two', and it's not rated more than PG-13.


( In which Dean gains the power of resurrection: an abandoned Supernatural fic. )

Am I going to keep doing this meme until I have covered all 3,741 possible combinations? Probably not. But I can give it a really good try.


- Write a list of characters and number them.
- Input the number of characters into this random number generator as the maximum and generate two numbers.
- Ramble about how the corresponding pairing/partnership/general interaction would (or, indeed, wouldn't) work. Perhaps write a snippet/one-sentence fic for it if you're feeling brave.
- Repeat to your heart's content.


( Fandoms represented: Stargate SG-1, Scrubs, Final Fantasy VIII, Final Fantasy X, Harry Potter, Supernatural, Death Note, Pokémon, Life on Mars, Merlin, Kingdom Hearts. )


My housemate has come up with the idea of a reality TV show in which politicians from all the major parties are in an underground bunker during a nuclear holocaust and one is voted out every week. I am trying to think of a pun combining politics and nuclear warfare for the title and failing. It is frustrating. She cannot propose it on Dragons' Den without a good title!

In other news: it was raining this morning, and ten full university buses drove merrily past my stop. I was unimpressed and also half an hour late to the first lecture of the new university year. Auspicious!

But I saw someone with an adorable ladybird umbrella and an amazing person on my flist who shall remain nameless until she's comfortable enough to post to derrenbrownfic wrote Derren/himself/glass, so it was a good day.

I'm easily pleased.

My little brother is off to university! So grown up! I hope he has a marvellous time and breaks every academic record. (My brother is humiliatingly intelligent, so this is quite possible.) I also hope, of course, that I do well enough in my third year at Sussex not to be too embarrassed when he gets a million per cent in all his exams.

Speaking of siblings: Supernatural!


( Thoughts on Supernatural 5.04. )


I HAVE JUST REALISED THAT I HAVE NOT CONSIDERED WHAT POKÉMON CASTIEL WOULD HAVE AT ALL. This is a shocking oversight! It would probably be a Clefairy or a Togepi or something similarly ridiculous. Dean would roll his eyes a lot. 'I gotta tell you, if you want people to take you seriously as a warrior of God, you should probably go with something with more fangs and less pink.'

(Speaking of Pokémon, a terrible idea I had recently: starting a new game of Final Fantasy VII and renaming all the characters based on what their Pokémon would be. RAICHU AND MACHOKE ARE MEMBERS OF A TERRORIST ORGANISATION. They find themselves responsible for the fate of the world, along with Eevee (Raichu's childhood friend), Blissey (a flower girl), Arcanine (an unwilling lab specimen), Aipom (a ninja), Shuppet (a former Turk), Magneton (a pilot) and Meowth (a fortune teller). I'm going back to Brighton tomorrow and leaving the PS2 behind, though, so, perhaps fortunately, this playthrough is not to be. For now.)

Firstly, I'd like to thank you guys for being so good about cutting spoilers! I didn't get to see the episode until today, but I still had no idea what was in it when I eventually settled down to watch it. I love my flist.


( Thoughts on the third episode of the fifth season of Supernatural. )

Once again, Twitter provides the best theories:

[Derren Brown] didn't hypnotise you last night! Rather he stopped time, came round to your house and applied glue to your chair. cad!

Apparently his time-stopping powers did not work for quite long enough for him to get around to me, which was a shame, but at least three people on my flist have fallen victim to Derren's chair-gluing ways.

And now I am going to talk about Merlin!


( Merlin 2.01 )

( Thoughts on the second episode of the fifth season of Supernatural. )


On an unrelated note: Derren Brown's How to Control the Nation is on Channel Four at nine o'clock tonight. He is going to stick us to our sofas. Literally. Whilst I'd love it to work on me, I think my enormous control issues make me quite a poor subject, but I'm very much hoping to at least see some 'HELP I CAN'T STAND UP' entries on my flist (sos_your_face, hippyjolteon, cryforthemoon, we all know from Enigma that you're susceptible).

In any case, it should be interesting!

(For those who aren't going to be watching it: if Derren Brown affixes us all to our seats and then takes advantage of our helplessness to take over the world, it is your duty to save humanity. Good luck.)

Because this was quite fun the first time I tried it, I'm giving it another go!


- Write a list of characters and number them.
- Input the number of characters into this random number generator as the maximum and generate two numbers.
- Ramble about how the corresponding pairing/partnership/general interaction would (or, indeed, wouldn't) work. Perhaps write a snippet/one-sentence fic for it if you're feeling brave.
- Repeat to your heart's content.


( Fandoms represented: Doctor Who, High School Musical, Final Fantasy VIII, Final Fantasy XII, Kingdom Hearts, Scrubs, Avatar, Silent Hill, Supernatural, Pokémon, Neverwhere. )

Who wants to see a huge number of characters from assorted fandoms playing Dance Dance Revolution/Dancing Stage? It will improve your day, I assure you. There is just so much love put into this animation! It is charming!

If you enjoy it and would like to let the creator know, you can drop her a comment here.


Unrelatedly: my goodness, I've just realised that the fifth-and-possibly-final season of Supernatural starts in the US tomorrow. Wow.

I have managed to remain almost entirely unspoiled, but here is what I hope the casting spoilers on my flist say:


( No spoilers for the fifth season, obviously, but there are spoilers up to the end of the fourth. )


I want an episode in Season Five in which people are dying mysteriously (so what else is new?). The Winchesters investigate. They become drawn into a battle of wits with their unseen opponent, and gradually realise that it is a human killing through supernatural means.

Eventually, they manage to catch Light Yagami (despite not being supergeniuses. Er. Perhaps they teamed up with L?) and acquire the Death Note.

Sam promises to destroy it.

He doesn't.


Seriously, do watch the multi-fandom Dance Dance Revolution flash. It is thoroughly delightful. Even the parts with characters I don't know charmed me, and the moments of recognising a character (and there are so many that you'll probably know at least a few) make it even better. There is a videogame bias, but I hope that doesn't put non-gamers off watching it, because it is a joy regardless.

Dear fanfiction.net: I do not want to come back to an anonymous review telling me I should 'fucking die'! This is a distressing message to receive at one in the morning! But I deleted it and I'm still alive, so nyah.

(I don't think it was personal; I think someone was probably just wandering around and posting impolite reviews at random. Alternatively: someone really, really hates Silent Hill crossovers. Still, I could have done without it, and should any of you feel like saying, 'hey, Riona, I think you are a pretty okay person who does not deserve to die for a Doctor Who/Silent Hill crossover you wrote four years ago, even if it wasn't great,' it would be gratefully received.)


Oh, yes, coming back. I have spent the past week in the south of France with my family, which was lovely, even if the start was slightly inauspicious:

Riona: I've forgotten to pack my swimming costume.
Riona's Father: Don't worry; you can swim in your knickers.
Riona: Oh, God, I forgot to pack any knickers!

In what I can describe only as a sudden mad fit of paranoia, I didn't mention beforehand that I was going to be absent from the Internet. I'm sorry! I hope you are all well and happy.


Here is an exchange that genuinely took place during the holiday:

Riona's Father: I think this is going to be the year you blossom.
Riona: 'Blossom'?
Riona's Mother: He means find your niche, find your place in the world.
Riona's Father: No; I mean get laid.
Riona: augh


Other events of the week:

- I saw a tiny dreadlocked girl and a large dreadlocked man having a dance-off. This pleased me.

- My father named his Panama hat 'Hatty' and sulked because my mother dropped it on the floor. I - I don't know.

- France is full of sexy animals drinking Orangina. It is weird.

- Sitting in the back of the car whilst one's mother listens to counteragent's podfic of one's Supernatural/High School Musical crossover and occasionally laughs in the front: simultaneously one of the weirdest and one of the most gratifying things I have ever experienced. I have a good relationship with my family, but I'm always very hesitant to show them my fanfiction, so I'm delighted that she enjoyed it. (counteragent's fabulous reading probably had a good part in that.)

- On Thursday night, I dreamt that I met a Lugia-Mew hybrid. It flew right up to me and looked curiously into my face and it was adorable. Then I watched an episode of Pokémon in which Professor Oak kidnapped Ash and Gary and set them a series of challenges to test their relationships with their Pokémon. Ash and Gary were on fairly friendly terms and also it was a musical.

It was the best dream ever.


If you have posted anything you think I ought to see in my absence, please point me towards it!

Congratulations and hugs as appropriate to all receiving their A Level results today! (My brother is going to Oxford! I am so proud of him and only mildly envious.)


I would like to propose a meme!

- Write a list of characters and number them.
- Input the number of characters into this random number generator as the maximum and generate two numbers.
- Ramble about how the corresponding pairing/partnership would (or, indeed, wouldn't) work. Perhaps write a snippet/one-sentence fic for it if you're feeling brave.
- Repeat to your heart's content.


( Fandoms represented: Pokémon, Sherlock Holmes, Supernatural, Life on Mars, Avatar, Kingdom Hearts, Merlin, Top Gear, Doctor Who, High School Musical. )


That was rather fun! Perhaps I'll try it again at some point; it seems a waste to consider only seven partnerships when I made a list of, erm, fifty characters (possibly slightly overboard?). Feel free to steal the idea if you would like to!

Apparently, my writer's block has spread to writing Livejournal entries, which cannot be a good sign.

My brother and his friends have apparently taken it upon themselves to watch as many Arnold Schwarzenegger films as they can get their hands on, and I have been joining them, because, whilst 'THINGS BLOWING UP/GETTING SHOT/GETTING SHOT AND THEN BLOWING UP' isn't usually my genre, it is a fairly hilarious experience. Commando is probably my favourite so far, just for the ridiculous one-liners. 'I HAD TO LET HIM GO.' 'LET OFF SOME STEAM.' Amazing. I suspect the writers came up with the one-liners first and then wrote in the events to accommodate them.

Here is an exercise for you: the next time you are watching a film, imagine that every role is being played by Arnold Schwarzenegger. We tried this with Mamma Mia! recently, and it immediately became so much better. (This also works with BRIAN BLESSED.)


( Thoughts on the ending of 'Kingdom Hearts II'. Not really spoilery, but cut just in case. )


Something I hadn't realised before: the relationship between Sora and Kairi is never made explicitly romantic. They are always friends, first and foremost. And there's plenty of subtext, with the paopu fruit and Donald's teasing and so on, but that's all.

I sort of like that. The idea of Sora/Kairi as a romantic relationship makes me really sad, just because Riku is excluded. You can't exclude Riku! (Sora/Riku and Riku/Kairi I can handle, even if Sora/Riku/Kairi is cuter, because Sora and Kairi are cheerful enough to be able to cope with being outside their friends' romantic relationship. Riku is much more likely to brood and retreat into the daaaaarkness in his heart. (Also, he's my favourite, so I may be biased.))

Oh, dear, and now I'm imagining Sora, Riku and Kairi all being replaced by Arnold Schwarzenegger. Donald is replaced by Arnold Schwarzenegger with a poorly-edited-in duck's bill.

Let's not think about this.


I've just remembered: during the Asylum convention, someone asked Jared Padalecki who should portray Future Sam Winchester, aged forty or fifty or sixty. The inexplicable suggestion offered by a member of the audience was 'Zac Efron'. The obvious real answer is 'Arnold Schwarzenegger'. Jared is slowly turning into him anyway, so it makes sense.

This paragraph has nothing to do with the rest of this entry, but I would like to see an Avatar-esque elemental bending battle portrayed in live action using the terrible sixties special effects of Star Trek: The Original Series. It would be spectacular.


I was just on TV Tropes, and found, to my distress, that both Cameron and Thirteen of House were listed as The Wesley (LINK GOES TO TV TROPES, DO NOT CLICK IF YOU VALUE YOUR TIME), a character who is loved by the author but despised by the fanbase.

Therefore, I thought I would make a nice poll in which we all express love for unpopular characters.

(Whilst Alex Drake was unpopular at the beginning of Ashes to Ashes (I have to confess that I disliked her at first and have since changed my stance), I don't know what the general opinion of her is now. I included her in the poll anyway, because love is good. Also, this is just based on what I've seen on the Internet, so I may have mistakenly included a character with whom the fandom in general has no problems at all. Again, that's no reason not to express your liking for them!)

Who chose what is visible only to me, so you don't have to worry about being judged for not ticking a box. (I'll admit that I'm not a fan of River Song, but I included her anyway because it's not only the characters I like who deserve affection.) Also, remember that a character receiving fewer votes than another is not necessarily an indication that that character is more disliked, as people answering will be familiar with different fandoms.


Poll #1434859 I Promise Not To Judge You For Your Answers.
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: None, participants: 90

Which of these unpopular/frequently-bashed characters do you like?

ENTIRELY UNRELATEDLY: if you were the physical incarnation of a deadly sin, which deadly sin would you represent?

I almost included a 'now ramble about your favourite of these characters!' textbox, but then I remembered that, as results aren't viewable, only I would be able to see the ramblings, and that's no fun. Feel free to ramble in the comments, though! (You should also feel free to ramble about your love for unpopular characters I have failed to include in this poll.)

I was surprised to realise how excited I was about seeing Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, but of course I grew up with these books. I read the first one when I was ten, and even with the delays in their being released I more or less aged alongside Harry. My enthusiasm waned a little towards the end, but the Harry Potter books were still a huge, huge part of my teenage years.

Here are my thoughts on the film!


( Under the cut. )